Tag: no

“While My Guitar Gently Beeps”

Fed up posing in front of the mirror strumming a tennis racket? Still searching in vain for the lost chord? Help is on hand for all aspiring rock gods thanks to Fender® and Intel, who’ve teamed up to create a concept guitar that explores the possibilities and redefines the term ‘music on the move’ – an internet-enabled super guitar**.”NO

Beginning with the iconic FENDER Telecaster ® – made famous by legends from Bruce Springsteen to Franz Ferdinand – the ‘surf guitar’ is the world’s first to allow you to download and playback your favourite riffs from the internet without touching the strings, so you can sound like Bo Diddley while doing diddly-squat.

Incorporating the latest Intel® Centrino® Mobile technology, the supercharged TELE® also means players can:

  • Send a quick email in-between songs on stage
  • Scour the web for inspiration… or chords they’ve forgotten
  • Practice their guitar solo grimaces via a built in webcam
  • Check their royalties online

[…]
Simon Shipley, UK and Ireland Brand Manager said: “Forty years after the first surf guitar sounds came out of California, a new generation of ‘surfing guitars’ have been born.”

“With this guitar, it doesn’t matter if you’re Joe Walsh or Joe Bloggs, you’ll sound just as good once you get this guitar online, download a few of your favourite tracks, and strike a pose in front of the mirror. And if you’re already halfway to becoming a rock legend, this guitar will help you to record, playback and email your music to your agent, your band, or just your mates with the minimum hassle.

http://www.intel.com/cd/corporate/pressroom/emea/eng/248418.htm

We’re phrasing out the neologidigm coinagwise

DJ Codswallop: substitute: do a sanity check for me
DJ Codswallop: is “vision space” an existing buzzword
substitute: it’s not familiar to me…
DJ Codswallop: guh.
DJ Codswallop: well.
DJ Codswallop: i just coined it, i guess
DJ Codswallop: this is why you should never let me write proposals while tweaking
substitute: Is vision space like customer space but for internal customers who are knowledge workers?
DJ Codswallop: vision space is more like an enteprise-wide architecture that is service oriented yet goals driven
DJ Codswallop: on a go-forward basis
substitute: this meta-presentation gives an overview at the 100,000 foot level for decision-makers of our ROI-based framework which has been developed as a wireframed model of ur mom
DJ Codswallop: substitute you are my brother in christ
DJ Codswallop: but the next time i see you i will kill you

Hoist by his own retard

I was being tailgated by a Hummer H2 today, which wasn’t a surprise around here. I looked in the rear vision mirror and, as I often too, thought it was a school bus due to the size, row of lights on top, and bright yellow color. A lot of the Hummers are Tonka/Lifeguard Yellow. The guy eventually zoomed around me in true H2 asshole style and then it hit me and the giggles started.

That guy just paid $60,000 to drive his own fucking short bus.