Tag: me

Millions Now Living Will Never Sneeze

I saw Ten Commandments Car Sign Lady but didn’t get a very good picture. The guy in front of me at the market was buying two canteloupes and two 12 packs of Dr. Pepper.

Seeing assorted Ruba Rats at Kean Coffee and then Clayton at Alta Coffee, now that’s weird. Ruba has gone goodbye, to be replaced by some combination of nothing at all, a kebab house, and/or a Kwik E Mart.

The orange cat who guards my street zipped past me as I entered the house tonight, saying “EEEERRRP!” I hope there isn’t some Catland Security emergency.

I should do all kinds of stuff early tomorrow. Bet you a dime I won’t.

broken stuff update

1) Heater problem was fixed. It was some variation of “pilot light out” but the water heater is very old and the pilot light is not accessible, apparently. I had taken off the cover and attempted it, but according to the Gas Company guys it’s weird and dangerous and I should just call them next time. Since it’s free I have no problem with that.

2) THE NEW AT&T is sending me a new phone, having agreed with my assessment that I got a lemon. It was nice to see that the rep on the phone believed me when I told her all the stupid human tricks I had already done, and only made me give her the serial number and agree not to fuck with them when they mailed me a new one.

3) Yesterday I broke 1 ceramic bowl, one plastic plate (!), and 1 glass.

wator heator

It’s not my pilot light or the thermocouple. I’m not getting any gas at all. It’s probably the gas pipe itself. To avoid blowing myself up or calling the plumber unnecessarily, I schedule an appointment with the Gas Company. This requires that I remain in the house from 7 am to possibly 8 pm tomorrow. (Waiting for the Electrician or Someone Like Him, etc)

I figured this was the best policy since the gas company here are safety maniacs and will give me good advice so as to avoid cheatr plumrs.

It’s funny. In our household the shorthand term for a sudden expensive disaster is “water heater.”

Pecked to Death by Ducks

Friday night! Going to hang out with John & Elan & Nicole! Whee!

Phone in near death state. Not getting messages from anyone, getting ghost voicemail, SIM NOT RECOGNIZED, Phone not ready! OK?, YOUR MESSAGE CANNOT BE SENT. Finally get hold of John 0.03 minutes before we’re supposed to meet.

Go to wash my face and hands before exiting and there’s no hot water. 45 minutes of intense investigation including dust in face, rust in face, loud clanks of covers being removed, fear of fuel-air explosive incident, and increasing rage. Outcome: water heater not getting gas; everything else getting gas just fine. Painful and vexing procedure for pilot light is pointless.

So now! No hot water, and no hot water until Monday unless I want to pay weekend service charges for someone from the buttcrack professions. Sponge bath and bad dishwashing ahoy.

Monday: service profession angst, expensive, cheatr plumrs, possible entire week of Water Heater Adventure.

It’s not like being raped by baboons in Mombasa or anything but boy I’m annoyed.

this space intentionally left honk

Thank you burntcurtis for taking me out on an impromptu and very romantic man-date. We walked about at UCI, had a coffee at one of the last remaining Diedrich (!), bothered titmongler there, ate a good round-eye chinese meal, and finally went to the CVS so I could get opiates and milk.

And yeah, tight jeans are dumb, John.

And yeah, Michael McDonald does suck.

Stop now and put down your pencil. Do not get up or raise your hand. Wait until the proctor announces the end of the examination.

MY WEAK END

I’d love to see people, do things, get out of the house, etc. And I may! But if anyone wants to hang out, you’re driving. My two modes right now are It Hurts To Drive and I Am High On Drugs, and I don’t relish either.

I can walk just fine, though. Maybe I’ll walk down to 17th. Must take the right route, because “Aqua Man” lives around the corner from me now. In the same trailer park as Pirate Phil. Whoof.

Lost in a one story town
Where everything’s close to the ground
Yeah the same shit goes down
Nothing comes around
It’s a one, story. town.