Pecked to Death by Ducks

Friday night! Going to hang out with John & Elan & Nicole! Whee!

Phone in near death state. Not getting messages from anyone, getting ghost voicemail, SIM NOT RECOGNIZED, Phone not ready! OK?, YOUR MESSAGE CANNOT BE SENT. Finally get hold of John 0.03 minutes before we’re supposed to meet.

Go to wash my face and hands before exiting and there’s no hot water. 45 minutes of intense investigation including dust in face, rust in face, loud clanks of covers being removed, fear of fuel-air explosive incident, and increasing rage. Outcome: water heater not getting gas; everything else getting gas just fine. Painful and vexing procedure for pilot light is pointless.

So now! No hot water, and no hot water until Monday unless I want to pay weekend service charges for someone from the buttcrack professions. Sponge bath and bad dishwashing ahoy.

Monday: service profession angst, expensive, cheatr plumrs, possible entire week of Water Heater Adventure.

It’s not like being raped by baboons in Mombasa or anything but boy I’m annoyed.

9 thoughts on “Pecked to Death by Ducks

  1. Usually its not baboons
    but rather orangutans that have been known to rape humans
    but it their case its not the actual intromission
    that causes damage
    since they are rather… petite
    but instead the fact that female orangs have hips
    with a range of motion more similar
    to our shoulders
    than our hips…
    leading the males to dislocate the human female’s hips without much effort
    they are freakishly strong
    so
    moral of this story
    don’t go into the African plains
    and play with orangutans if you are
    a menstruating female

      1. Re: Usually its not baboons
        I agree!
        Somebody should that’s for sure. SNL has sucked harder and harder for years now.
        I’d vote for substitute 🙂

      2. Re: Usually its not baboons
        LOL, yeah, that works for me!
        Hey, Mr. Tute, hope your pipe thing is solved quickly and inexpensively, with a minimum of buttcrackiness.
        At least you’re not in Minnesota in January ;x
        PS — LJ thinks buttcrackiness is not a word, and suggests budgerigars or budgerigar’s. I stand by buttcrackiness.

  2. Organ Leroy
    Assuming your water heater is not of recent vintage, the mishap is likely due to a failure of the pilot sensor. This is a useful module which cuts off the gas supply to the heater should the pilot light blow out, thus preventing buildup of fuel-air mixture and potential kaboom. Unfortunately, when this sensor fails it defaults to safe mode, i.e. no hot water for you. New sensors are available at your local hardware store, though installation requires tools and a bit of patience.

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