1. Joey Buttafuoco says “It’s time to put it all behind us” and let the healing begin. Appropriately, enough, on a reality show. I hope they wheel in Mary Jo with a .45 so my healing can begin, too!
2. I thought “MetalStorm” was a bad 1970s sf movie, but it’s actually a gun that fires 240,000 rounds per minute.
3. The Beast is Back! With their required-reading loathsome people of 2005 list.

More later. I’m out of time. Phrenology calls.

1. I’ve really been enjoying lots of yogurt lately, especially Greek yogurt. Apparently other people need a lot more encouragement to do so, to the point that obscenity charges are pressed. (Link SFW, describes things that aren’t.)
2. LEARN TO YODELI ODEL YODEL ODY HAAAAAAY.

1. theuglyvolvo has a hilarious description of the difficulty of reading while rowing.
2. History repeats itself first as tragedy, second as farce, and the third time as a bizarre knockoff for kids.
3. For aficionados of doom, here’s a good detailed analysis of how close Iran is to a nuclear weapon.
4. The Panopticon is now a reality in the Netherlands.
5. The Null Device points to yet another example of my Two Subcultures Rule, which is that any two subcultures must intersect at some point. In this case it’s — wait for it — Goths and the Church of England.
6. Inevitably, the Internet has coughed up a Lego Tarot.
7. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a publisher in possession of a popular writer must be in want of a book cover featuring Fabio and raised gold lettering.
8. There is a whale in Central London.
9. Jalopnik reports that the woman who posed naked on a car at the North American Auto Show may well have been drugged . Why is this not surprising? If it’s true, I hope everyone goes to jail and/or Hell.

1. As much as I like blogging, things like Gather make me twitch. As the Minutemen said, the roar of the masses might be farts. Plus whenever someone starts fulminating about the media elites it makes me all shivery inside.
2. Being a murdeous gangster or a questing night is very 2000. The hip gaming identity now is tapped-out, bitter, red-eyed, beaten town Kinko’s employee.
3. Guruphiliac reports that TM’s Maharishi has really lost it completely now and is selling investments with a guaranteed 15% return over three years.
4. ROBOT MISHAPS! ROBOT MISHAPS! ROBOT MISHAPS!
5. CALCULATING MACHINES!
6. I like this article on feminism by Linda Hirshman. It’s full of good advice about money, sex, and choices. Mostly about money. Money is important.

1. Here’s a good question. Why didn’t they have female crash test dummies all along? It reminds me of the way they test drugs only on men, still.
2. CBC presents a top ten of literary hoaxes; Slate has good articles on both the Frey/Leroy phenomena and Frey’s flunked rehab personality and why it matters.
3. One of the few moments in my entertainment journalism/internet career that mattered and moved me was an interview I did with Helen Prejean at the time that Dead Man Walking was being released as a film. The Guardian has a good piece about her online right now.
4. Evidence that diabetes or metabolic syndrome might be reversed by a relatively short dietary course is interesting. Note the knee-jerk reply from the diabetes association. They’re so focused on keeping patients behaviorally in line that they have really become dogmatic about the impossibility of a cure. It’s pretty sad.
5. If you liked Gridiron Cuvée, you’ll love JARHEAD RED.
6. This cookbook is entirely MADE OF MEAT.

1. Always at the frontier of Green Eggs and Ham research, the Taiwanese have made important steps toward the production of Green Ham. Thanks, mrhinelander!
2. No, your fetus doesn’t mean you can drive in the carpool lane, twit!
3. Dear LJ: this is a bad idea. Hugs, me.
4. URSI found the secret Vatican archives! Neat stuff.
5. Hey look, here’s a blog consultant. DYAAAAH
6. Also from AdJab, can any of you explain any of this? Something about a lifestyle website, and a blogger who was hired to make it more bloggy and cool, and he’s leaving, and doesn’t want his bloggy cool tainted for “selling out”, and. I need an aspirin.
7. No matter how much you love her, DO NOT KISS YOUR CHICKEN.
8. Okay everyone, it’s time for TONIGHT WITH THE BRADMAN! (Google video)
9. This wonderful Australian online exhibit of artists’ books reminded me of Renée and Judd Hubert’s work at the UCI Library. godforesaken, if you have an email for Judd you should send it to him! Via Bibliodyssey page that has some greatest hits.
10. Someday I’ll meet her, someday I’ll court her, someday she’ll wear my ring.
11. Augh, again with the Indigo Kids (ny times).

1. Double double drama as In-N-Out Burger Family Sues Each Other. For a Christian company they can’t get any luck. First all their execs pancake into the Santa Ana Auto Mall in a business jet crash, now there’s a burger schism.
2. Before we really figured out anatomy as a science, we made some pretty amazing anatomical art about it.
3. QOTD: You end up with an alcoholic energy drink that belches out smoke.
4. As much as I dislike Vice, this is a good collection of found video stuff, including of course Jack Rebney but also some things I didn’t know about.
5. What happens when you mix Diet Coke and Mentos? (Google Video)
6. Jeff points out that the del.icio.us tag “trainwreck” produces some pure freakin comedy gold.
7. Clearly I need better sweaters.
8. Didja know about THOMAS JEFFERSON’S HUGE CHEESE?
9. The Knife Show Guys meet Jesus, as Pastor Rod pimps out his sword for sale.
10. Thank you Aardvark:
11. The latest thing for thieves to take from your car is the entire freakin door.
12. There may be coyotes all over your town. I knew there were lots here, but I live less than a mile from their preserved habitat.

1. The United States Army would like to help us all out with helpful freedom-loving free content for our blogs.
2. Today’s headline: FAKE FINGERS NO MATCH FOR SCANNER’S ELECTRIC NOSE.
3. Area Conservative Can’t Stand Ann Coulter.
4. It looks like a big broken piece of ice caused 300 years of severe cold in Europe 8200 years ago. Yikes.
5. Hey, here’s a really awesome huge collection of old Jules Verne illustrations!

More later, time for phrenology appointment.

The The Vark provided me with this fabulous Quicktime video entitled THE IRISH LANGUAGE LAB.

1. friendly_bandit and others may like Stuff from the Park, a blog mostly of vintage Disneyland pictures.
2. For those days when you smell so bad you melt watches, the Salvador Dali Deodorant.
3. Ursi linked to this crazy-ass over-the-top watch. I’m not a fan of expensive watches but this one pressed my geek button pretty hard.
4. Like ghost towns? Here’s way too many pictures of them.
5. If you date someone and then it goes south on you, here’s a tip. Don’t get your ex’s name as a domain and post thousands of words about the breakup. It’s considered poor form. (via cruel.com)