1. How to get extra treats:
2. How to deflate to one half inch thick and grow to nine feet long and still remain cute:
3. How to be firm yet cute in demanding that various apes do exactly as you require:
I shouldn’t complain because I’m already mostly over the damned thing after 24 hours and it’s not the Flu-Bola™ that everyone else got, but rhinoviruses are overrrated. No sir, I don’t like it. Snurfle.
COMFORT ME DAMNIT
Actually a pot of green jasmine tea and a largish glass of Barenjager have done a lot to make life bearable.
I just spent the four hours from midnight until now waiting for a large technology company to fix their end of the giant mechanical badger we’re building together so that could start it up again. Waiting for someone else to do something for four hours is much more annoying than working for this amount of time.
During this time my eyes started to really tear up and I decided to remove my disposable contacts. When I went to do so I couldn’t find the left one and thought it had fallen out when I was rubbing my eyes in an irritated way earlier.
Just now, hours later, I discovered that this rogue contact had been hiding in one corner of my eye which is why I still couldn’t see too well and was itchy and wondered if I had Eyeball Rot. But no, there was a small piece of plastic stuck up in a corner there somewhere.
I’d give all of you an eczema update but I think I’ve been erotic enough what with the giant mechanical badger and the eyeball issues.
I think the last few have been coming directly from some peculiar research facility where they’re beaming Jungian imagery over the internet into my head.
In my dream I’m Apollo chasing Daphne, knowing that she wants nothing to do with me and that she’s going to turn into a damn plant, but this is my role so here I go. It’s all about which arrow hits you. I duck around bushes barely catching sight of her, and then suddenly I run into a clearing.
Only Daphne’s nowhere to be seen, not even as a laurel tree, and there’s some other woman there. Slightly too late I realize this is Diana, oh shit she doesn’t like it when guys show up and BOOM! She turns me into a deer.
A Far Side deer, at that. She wanders off and I sit frustrated on a stump.
Story of my fuckin’ life, man.
I got the #1 buzz with shave the dumb stuff on top option again this time. Remind me to keep it this way; feels so much better than tangly greasy fringe.
A couple more, some salad, and then dessert.
leolo made the mistake of asking me if there’d been a nice-looking car produced in the last ten years. Why, yes! There have! Glad you asked. I won’t go into wine-writing bullshit talking about why I like these designs, but they all please me greatly, the inexpensive and pricy ones both. They are below: