Dear the Internet

I just spent the four hours from midnight until now waiting for a large technology company to fix their end of the giant mechanical badger we’re building together so that could start it up again. Waiting for someone else to do something for four hours is much more annoying than working for this amount of time.

During this time my eyes started to really tear up and I decided to remove my disposable contacts. When I went to do so I couldn’t find the left one and thought it had fallen out when I was rubbing my eyes in an irritated way earlier.

Just now, hours later, I discovered that this rogue contact had been hiding in one corner of my eye which is why I still couldn’t see too well and was itchy and wondered if I had Eyeball Rot. But no, there was a small piece of plastic stuck up in a corner there somewhere.

I’d give all of you an eczema update but I think I’ve been erotic enough what with the giant mechanical badger and the eyeball issues.

Good night!

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