ITEMS!

  • There is a nest of baby scorpions living in the left side of my sinuses. So-called “medical professionals” tell me it’s the common cold, but I know better. No little virus could cause this throbbing ache, effusion of mucus, and spasmodically weak jaw muscle. I expect them to burst through my left eye socket and wave their happy claws at the sun sometime tomorrow.
  • La Brea Bakery sourdough, heated, with butter, does a lot to make life more livable.
  • After the scorpions come out tomorrow I think I’m gonna go on a little photo expedition. Where should I go?

12 thoughts on “ITEMS!

  1. I think the bitch laid her eggs in my snout as well.
    You ever had a look at Vista Del Mar, the ‘ghost town’ below LAX’s flight path? It’s an eerie place.
    ~M~

  2. The scorpions have also arrived in my face! Huzzah for the scorpians have arrive-ed!
    As for photo excursions, I vote for the vietnamese mall in stanton. I think it’s Stanton?
    I’ve been planning to make a trip there myself soon.
    Oh! While you’re there you won’t want to miss the OLIVES. They sell those delicious vietnamese spicy olives everywhere in there. Or man, just the food in general.

  3. To cure scorpions in the left side, put a snake in the right side and wait for the snake to eat the scorpions. Insert 50cents in lychees to get the next step.
    Sorry you’re sick, monkeyman. Go take photos of strange vegetables. =)

  4. Just take photos of the baby scorpions emerging. You could sell the pictures to the Sun….
    Better yet, photos of you eating the baby scorpions on La Brea Bakery sourdough.
    With butter.

      1. Nah, it’s just that it was Sunday morning when I posted that, and I’d forgotten to unset my stupid bit. 8^)

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.