Tag: links

Day with lot fate when it is the same as lover and friend.

  1. The previously reported Hausfrau Strippercize Trend now includes a company that sells portable pole-dancing equipment. An amusing and/or horrifying ad for this is viewable here (SFW). They also sell a lapdancing kit. I was not aware that lap dances required a kit. Via Adjab.
  2. This lamer on the run from the cops tried a few things, including an attempted carjacking along the way in Wildomar, CA. For local reference, that’s where Bob Trout lives, and he has no idea how lucky he is not to have carjacked Bob & Mary. I can imagine the story later. “He was telling Mary to give up the keys when I took the gun away. Had to take a couple fingers too. Put ’em in a baggie, poor fucker will need ’em in the joint.”
  3. This person shares my exact feelings about skepticism: It’s a love/hate relationship.
  4. High-quality crazy via mendel I forgot to mention that my life is very similar to that of the celebee or the forest guardian in the Japanese anime Pokeman Forever movie.
  5. The Exploding Aardvark has today’s best headline: GOAT ATTACKS COULDN’T KEEP HER FROM CHURCH.
  6. This craigslist poster seems to have good values, but her language skills result in comedy: Why not to spend your evening cuddling with your love ones VS warming a chair in an office and burning your brain to be remember by whom?
  7. The Vark also gave me Mondo Croquet, which reminds me of the way I played croquet in our back yard as a kid, except with BIGGER BALLS.
  8. One more varklink: Where’s the toxics at in my neighborhood? (USA)
  9. Jalopnik linked to the most fabulously fucking awesome drifting video ever. How he doesn’t roll, I do not know. Jesus Christ.

This Holiday Season, Why Not Feed Lead Paint to Toddlers?

  1. Josef Hoflehner takes hauntingly beautiful photos of Iceland.
  2. For designers, a hilarious wall of shame: the B3ta Phallic Logo Awards!
  3. Waiterrants documents one server’s seduction of an entire table.
  4. Courtesy we make money not art, I find out that Fritz Lang’s classic murder thriller “M” is available for download free in its entirety from the Internet Archive.
  5. Yo momma so fat, they need a longer needle to stick her in the ass. The interesting part, actually, is the criticism of the numbers at the end. I’m glad someone actually looks at things like that.
  6. My two favorite Christmas songs are “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis” by Tom Waits as sung by Neko Case, and “Brick” by Ben Folds. YES, I AM STILL A CHARACTER ON GRINCHCITY.

MERRY BAUNCHMAS, EVERYONE!

  1. FAMOUS CALGARIANS. School projects done about places remote to me are funny. I do not know why. Also, “Dr. Thomas Henry Blow”.
  2. I also like art by nuts and weirdos, like this exhibition of obsessive drawing.
  3. Let’s all collect RADIOACTIVE CONSUMER PRODUCTS! (Thanks, Vark!
  4. Kiss me deadly, goober. Way to confirm every allergy maniac’s fears, start a wave of urban legends, and cause ADDITIONAL fear of sex among teens! Girls, I am processed in a facility that also processes peanuts. In case you’re curious.
  5. They finally figured out how bees do it. The next step will be investigation of the educated fleas.
  6. In other Mad Science News, the mysterious cartoon spring noises that issue from the depths of the ocean have finally been identified. (via pharyngula).
  7. Who is the Father of Lies? What is Madison Avenue? Yet another proof of my rule that “Cyber” must always be replaced with “Bozo” is “Cyber Monday”. Courtesy the slacktivist.

grumpsgiving

  1. When, exactly, would you need USB powered warmed slippers? If you have no way to power slippers, won’t your laptop battery die in 20 minutes heating your feet? I guess if you have only one power plug and the computer’s plugged into it, and it’s cold, because it’s night and you’re at the office and they don’t turn the heat on, and. Oh well. Japan is weird.
  2. The Aetheronomy (?) people don’t like Wikipedia very much. This page is worth it just for the illustration, but the psychoceramica is also amazing.
  3. In other net kook news, Jeff Eaton covers a shocking abuse of the media so well I chorfed my coffee.
  4. Effect Measure points out that quarantines and restrictive measures are pointless if something like bird flu goes into human-to-human pandemic mode.
  5. The Truck Muscle Asshole thing is over. OVER. PLEASE? No, they’re still doing this stupid shit. We’re going to Dude Ranch ourselves into the fucking Apocalypse.

the bitter asswipe rides again

  1. Hey look everybody there’s a DEAD ABORTED FETUS IN THE SKY AAA AAA AAAAIIIIIIGGGH. Man, it’s bad enough when they bring those pictures down to the beach and freak out the children.
  2. Yeah, so, the space shuttle broke again. And stuff.
  3. I’m sure brianenigma will welcome this opportunity to actually wear the sea monkeys around his neck instead of just watching them slowly die in a tank.
  4. Our oppressive goons are also comic opera idiots.
  5. presents a combo of Michael Jackson probably wouldn’t like emacs either and dude you shouldn’t be apologizing to Jennifer.

THIS HOLIDAY SEASON, WHY NOT STAB YOURSELF IN THE FACE AND HEAD?

  1. I had many times heard the “amazing science fact” that komodo dragons kill their prey with bad dental hygiene; they have horrible rotting shite in their teeth and bite you, and then come back when the infection has finished you off. Apparently this is at least partially inaccurate. They have venom.
  2. One of the things Europeans are better at than us is objectifying women to sell tires. Not only are those some very nicely shot photos, but they almost manage to make Kate Moss look good. Over here, we get the Tool Time Girls: ennui, sadness, and implants drooped over engines.
  3. I’m sure zebulon_y will be delighted to learn that Graham Greene used “zeb” as a word for “cock” while cheating at Scrabble!
  4. Gizmodo presents an unusual solution to a common problem. At my job, the SDM is the thing we manage software projects in.

lactose-free ultraviolence milk

  1. torgo_x is your own personal news service today, giving us the all the news roundup we need. I really like the quote from the French policeman, where he manages to get a Biblical reference and a wine/communism quip in the same sentence.
  2. I got spinnaz all over ’cause that’s how I roll.
  3. Wait, did NASA just explain something by microgravity levitation?
  4. I was delighted to see the headline “Ashlee Simpson in Blender” until I found out that this referred to Blender magazine. Guys, get your type styles right! You’re getting my hopes up with these style errors!
  5. Let’s all read this detailed engineering analysis of squid!
  6. These genetically modified peas turned out to be possibly dangerous. Oops.
  7. Learn to Pop and Lock from this instructional DVD. The video clips are…
  8. Schneier as usual gets the real point of the Sony DRM disaster: The antivirus companies just plain suck. Why waste your money?
  9. Clockwork Orange-like eyeball movement measuring can detect childhood brain ailments early, it seems.

unsentimental hygiene

  1. I was already a member of this religion, and I just didn’t know it. I am quite serious, actually. I don’t feel that gathering in groups and acting like a religion makes too much sense, but all along the one thing I’ve known is that I don’t know anything.
  2. TABLETOP VIBRATOR FOR OFFICE USE. Actually if this thing worked better than most conference phones it’d be sorta cool.
  3. Meet John Rendon, the secret master of spin.

my animal magic

  1. New hope and new worries about malaria from the Aetiology blog. If you’re interested in the fate of humanity, you’re interested in malaria. Keep up on it.
  2. For friendly_bandit and other BNL fans: The Barenaked Ladies on a memory stick!
  3. The Numenware guy reminds us that translation is hard. Especially of poetry. About religion. From radically different cultures.
  4. Watch out for that new Internet squeeze. You may be fucking a sock puppet. When I worked at the newspaper we used to run fake classifieds to fill out a short column, but we never went out with our prank victims!
  5. PUMPKIN GUNS.
  6. Hey gcrumb: THE MESSIAH IS COMING TO VANUATU! Well actually it’s just Sun-Myung Moon.