Category: Uncategorized

tiresome

Dear LJ: I already changed my password once to make it much more obscure. Now I’m getting the warning that it’s too easy to guess, again. Obviously you’re monkeying around with the definition of “too easy”. You’re a big, grown-up company now, and it’s time to stop testing everything out in production. This is FUCKING ANNOYING.

Please stop using “uber” as an adjective meaning “best”, people.

  1. Kansas City teen finds FIFTY SIX POUND MUSHROOM.
  2. The LAPD is looking for a very dangerous Bond Girl. Via LA Observed.
  3. Rosa Parks is the first woman in U.S. history to lie in state in the Capitol Rotunda.
  4. The AIDS corpse pile grows, West Nile is scaring the shit out of us, and we may soon all die of bird flu. So we’re all pretty stoked that the CDC is spending $60 million on a visitors center including a formal Japanese garden.
  5. Feeling a little light in the loafers? Take a Hetracil.
  6. Shitty fantasy writers, which is to say all of them, should be forced to follow these guidelines on pain of death. Are you listening, Mr. McKiernan?

Well, it’s that time of year.

angelThere’s a touch of frost in the air, it isn’t quite Halloween, and we’re all flat broke. Therefore it’s Christmas Season, and I’m delighted to be the first to inaugurate it here on the LJ. I know some of you are going to say it’s too soon, but if you really thought about it, you’d realize you want it to be Christmas all the time. Sure you do. Anyway, that magical time of year has come in which Santas on TV sell you subprime mortgages and inflatable pools, out-of-work actors in Dickensian clothing serenade you with faith-neutral carols outside the Chick Fil-A in the food court, and HR emails you jingly-bell clipart that blows up Windows.

To kick things off properly, I’d like to remind everyone that He knows when you are Good or Bad, so be Good for Goodness Sakes. (Crude Flash, ~9 meg) Or you will suffer beyond your wildest imaginings.

Wassail, wassail!

Kermie? Sometimes my arms bend backwards.

This new icon, which I received from the lovely and talented rumplestiltskin rumplestimpskin sparked a conversation back and forth with theodora last night. Because Kermit is flailing in front of red curtains it reminded her of Twin Peaks, and we began casting a remake of Twin Peaks starring only Muppets.

I think the best thing to start with is to give almost all the female parts to Miss Piggy. Maybe Donna Hayward can be played by Janice, the musician and nurse with the big lipstick. But a vast array of Miss Piggies in all pretty girl or crazy lady roles seems best, partly because Miss Piggy will kick our asses if we don’t give her the pretty girl roles and will shine in the crazy lady ones. I mean, she IS Nadine, and she’ll demand to be Laura Palmer. Josie will be a stretch for her, but I can’t for the moment think of any Muppets who could easily do a very intense Chinese lady with close-cropped hair. Other casting by my own prejudices is below:

Dr. Jacoby: Dr. Teeth
Pete Martell: Oscar the Grouch
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Fozzy Bear
The One-Armed Man: Animal
Benjamin Horne: Sam the Eagle
Backwards Talking Dwarf: Elmo
Deputy Andy Brennan: Grover

I’m having trouble casting Albert Rosenfield, Ed Hurley, Leo, Bobby Briggs, and a few others.

On the subject of Bob, the first thing that comes to mind is Animal, but Animal is far too innocent and bouncy despite the hair. I was thinking maybe Zoot or Sgt. Floyd Pepper from Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, but part of me just wants to go for the gold and give Gonzo the part.

Corrections and suggestions are more than welcome. For reference here’s a list of Muppets and a Twin Peaks cast reference.

there wasn’t no body and there wasn’t no blood

  1. Whoa, 1000 year old ceramics rescued from shipwreck!
  2. Daliesque melting sofa will fit in any scheme of décor. Trust me.
  3. Celebrities do like their personally branded fragrances, but some of them should choose something other than their last names. Why not “Alan”, fer chrissakes?
  4. Lesbian stalker loses vampire love battle. I said, LESBIAN STALKER LOSES VAMPIRE LOVE BATTLE! The headlines in my town are more like “Area market showcases broccoli”.
  5. Merlin Mann has collected all those great textads you get that urge you to get get bargains on bowel disease or neofascism, ,etc in a flickr set.
  6. Here is a neat website about the Northern Lights (aurora borealis).
  7. Okay, old meme, but PANTERA POPE!. (audio on page)