Category: Uncategorized

Grinning stoner chick says: get a god damned job

That’s the graphic banner that monster.com currently has behind the text urging you to create or update your resume. Miscellaneous very young smiling woman. At first I thought they meant to say that they are a portal for 16-year-old girls who have had too much Boone’s Farm. I showed it around and fimmtiu pointed out that she seems to have teeth ideally suited to removing bark from trees, and that perhaps the slogan should be: “Join our team of busy beavers at Monster.com!”

I thought that was pretty good. What the hell do you think they’re saying here?

razors in the apples

Dream Syndicate – Halloween (mp3, 8.7M)

There’s a place you might wanna go
It’s right up my street
You might look and see the light shining
Someone you might like to meet
It’s Halloween

He says “let’s go for a ride”
And he says it all the time
You know you got a lot to live for
And you’re gonna be mine
On Halloween

You shouldn’t believe the things in papers
They can’t come true
And don’t believe the things that you see on TV
They’ll never happen to you
No, not on Halloween

Two steps forward
Don’t say I didn’t warn you
Two steps forward
Oh, no, I didn’t warn you.

Printer Friendly For Over 20 Years

  1. Scientific American has a good general article on flu pandemic preparation
  2. Today’s wacky Norwegians story: hilarious anti-littering ad campaign.
  3. As chosen by the Daily Telegraph and Novartis in the UK, here are the best science photos of 2005. I especially like the peppercorn next to the salt grain:

    salt n pepa

  4. Wait, wait, wait. My country’s people are spending $3.29 billion on WHAT this year? Empires in Decline, folks, Empires in Decline.
  5. Surreality TV: America’s Next Top Muppet.
  6. I am enjoying the eggcorns. And by “enjoying” I mean “cringing in a snobby way”.

Important items for your consideration.

I often fall asleep with my jeans still on, and later I wake up and get properly undressed for bed. Night before last this happened again. I woke up later feeling very cold. Upon investigation I discovered I was not wearing my pants. Furthermore, I could not find my sheet. Why am I pantsless and uncovered?

I found my jeans at the foot of the bed. Groggy and annoyed, I picked them up. Hmm, they’re kind of stuffed-feeling, what’s.. WHAT? The sheet was wadded up and stuffed in one leg.

—

When my cat decides to get in my lap and love me, she kneads me in a kittenish way. When she does this she drools. Is this a kitten preparing to suckle reaction of some kind? Does anyone know? It’s sort of cute and gross at the same time.

—

The other day I passed a business that followed my Rule of Business Names, which is that all pet grooming places and low-end hair salons must have horrible cute names. It was called THE DOG SPAW. Now I know what they meant by this, the lame spa/paw joke, but doesn’t DOG SPAW sound like something you have to clean up because your dog ate the soap and some raw bacon?

This modern world deserves a modern attitude.

  1. P.C. Load Letter, SIR!
  2. Anyone here read or seen Costa Gavras’ novel and movie Z?, well, it just happened in Turkey.
  3. The Lifetime Television Award for Patronizing and Insulting Media Intended for Women goes to Salon.com for “Introducing Salon’s cheeky new women’s blog”.
  4. Dreck auteur Uwe Boll is making a movie of the video game “Postal” starring Gary Coleman. That is all.
  5. Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please. You have been mourning a chicken. Please adjust your shmerz appropriately.
  6. Why we fight: follow the money.
  7. Brainmaps.org has fascinating high-res maps of the brain in sections, etc. Great stuff.