Tag: lol

The New Face of Prostitution, 2005

On Myspace:

hey i no you prolly don’t know me, maybe you do, i thought i had a message from you once, anyways i was just lookin up on profiles and thought you were hot. I totally like older guys than me its cool.. I am drinkin so forgive me if i am ramblin but yea, so add me as a friend, or lets chat on my webcam if you want, its free, you can get there from my profile. What is up? You not going out? lets party lol

Starfunders, Inc.

trent

Hi. Trent Reznor here. You may remember me from such bands as “Nine Inch Nails”. I’m here to talk to you about retirement options. You know, when I wrote my hit song “Down In It”, I had no idea how much application those ideas would have to financial planning.

:::turns to second camera:::

That’s why I’m talking to you today. Ask yourself: If you were “Hurt” tomorrow, would you have enough insurance? Really enough?

Halloween costume problem solved

nihilistic_kid‘s story of his train trip has given me the character I need to be if I actually go to a Halloween party this year. And I quote:

In the dining car I met this man whose mental problems would have been fairly obvious even if he hadn’t been wearing a shirt with an envelope pinned to it. On the envelope was scrawled the message OPEN IF UNRESPONSIVE. At one point, he hesitated a second while trying to decide between a Sierra Mist and an orange juice, and the cashier and I shared a nervous look that said “Holy shit, should we open the envelope?!” but then he decided. I guess he didn’t take longer than anyone else would with his choice either, but the envelope invites overreaction. It would be odd if someone does have to open it one day and inside there’s a note that reads “SIERRA MIST.”

photo essay: The National Clandestine Service

It was announced yesterday that the new National Clandestine Service, which will oversee our nation’s spying, will be headed by an unknown individual who will be known only as “José”. Immediately I heard flamenco music in my head, saw the shimmering heat of a Mexican town at the turn of the century, heard hoofbeats. A masked hero was racing to save us: ¡Zorro! However, given the track record of this administration, I doubt we’ll get Don Diego.

Here’s what we want:

Here’s what we more realistically should hope for:

And here’s what we’ll get:

The End of Zero Tolerance: That 16th time

At least in the FBI.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,1280,-5333345,00.html

My favorite favorite favorite quote:

Current rules prohibit the FBI from hiring anyone who used marijuana within the past three years or more than 15 times ever. They also ban anyone who used other illegal drugs, such as cocaine or heroin, within the past 10 years or more than five times.

“That 16th time is a killer,” McCaffrey said.

Amazon recommendation funnies

Browsing Amazon for books about fascism (yes I am a cheery fellow), I found one in the usually excellent “Very Short Introductions” series. Of course Amazon always likes to pair things up and get you to buy two. In this case they ended up making a controversial statement about political economy.

No! They aren’t better together! No! NO!

fashizm