Starfunders, Inc.


Hi. Trent Reznor here. You may remember me from such bands as “Nine Inch Nails”. I’m here to talk to you about retirement options. You know, when I wrote my hit song “Down In It”, I had no idea how much application those ideas would have to financial planning.

:::turns to second camera:::

That’s why I’m talking to you today. Ask yourself: If you were “Hurt” tomorrow, would you have enough insurance? Really enough?

10 thoughts on “Starfunders, Inc.

  1. That is so fucking funny. I remember around 1991 realizing that my cervix puckered every time I listened to Pretty Hate Machine.
    And now, this.
    Bring me my Metamucil.

  2. Oh my god what has hapened to my icon for adolescent rage and angst?
    He shops at the same “older celeb” store as John Stamos

    1. “The same thing that happened to your father’s icons of adolescent rage and angst,” he said.
      You could have avoided this if you had picked an icon who was already dead.
      Excuse me, while I continue thinking seriously about reading The Great Gatsby without ever getting around to it.

  3. Too bad for him that, despite all his rage, he is still just a rat in a cage. (Oops; my mistake…that reference is applicable to the composer W. Corgan, not the composer T. Reznor…)

  4. He was born in the same town as me – Mercer, PA. My Dad worked for his dad for many many years, even losing the tips of two of his fingers in the line of work. D’ya think ol’ Trent would give me a job? Nahhhh.

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