Tag: failure

Throw me the whip! No, throw me the mortgage!

IndyMac Bank, a prolific mortgage specialist that helped fuel the housing boom, was seized Friday by federal regulators in one of the largest bank failures in U.S. history. The thrift was one of the largest savings and loans in the country, with about $32 billion in assets. It now joins an infamous list of collapsed banks, topped by Continental Illinois National Bank and Trust Co., which failed in 1984 with $40 billion of assets. The bank will be run by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp., a federal regulator, and will reopen Monday.

Via Wall St Journal

Edit: Additional comedy from the full article: IndyMac specialized in Alt-A loans, a type of mortgage that can often be offered to borrowers who don’t fully document their incomes or assets. SO THERE’S NO CTRL-Z AMIRITE???

Don’t wanna talk about it!

You know how sometimes people on your friends list will post about their lives, and all of a sudden you think, “Wait a minute. Since when are they growing qat? And who still takes Gregory the Great seriously?” And then you wonder how you could have missed that seemingly standard information, but you feel too ashamed to ask for madlib answers. It happens to all of us. I mean I’ll bet you a sentence there’s a cut and paste with minor edits already.

Copy the questions below, erase my answers and post yours..

NO.

Videodrome Loves You

I remember when these dumb TV screens showed up at Diedrich Coffee and a couple of other places, and they had a crawl with news and some ads on them and not too much else, and clearly it was held together with house ads and fear, and soon, we knew, it would be gone. Because who would put something like that in a coffeehouse?

Or… a bookstore…

tv in a bookstore

Obviously these must be placed in libraries, houses of worship, operating rooms, aircraft cockpits, day care centers, campgrounds, and cemeteries as soon as possible.

Dear the O.C. Weekly

From: me
To: letters@ocweekly.com
Subj: Regarding the “Sex Issue”

Why is this issue different from all other issues?

—–

To: me
From: [REDACTED], Editorial Assistant
Subj: Re: Regarding the “Sex Issue”

This is a themed issue. The theme is sex. Hope this helps you!

—-

From: me
To: lettersoc@ocweekly.com
Subj: Re: Regarding the “Sex Issue

Guess you didn’t get the joke. Have a good one!

bloated corpse

I own an HP color inkjet printer that also scans and copies. It’s handy and well-made.

Today I had to update the driver software to fix some bugs.

The download was 200 megabytes.

The uncompressed installation itself was over 400 megabytes.

There was no “custom install” option of less components, only the “default install” of every damned thing.

I had to opt out of their Customer Participation thing which is a daemon that runs constantly telling HP what’s going on.

I had to opt out of instant registration, and then opt out of both a reminder on next login and a dock item that would remind me to register. I also had to opt out of instant registration on the web.

Finally, it shat two useless items on my dock, the photo sharing app and the “device manager” app, that I will use maybe twice a year if at all.

The driver itself is tiny.

I DIDN’T WANT FINS, CHROME, AND FINE COREEEENTHIAN LEATHER ON MY GODDAMNED PRINTER DRIVER.

Edit: I had to buy black ink, which I did on Amazon. HP Ink. One cartridge, high quality, 660 pages: $18. Two cartridges bundled, lower quality, 480 pages each: $33. Math is hard.