bloated corpse

I own an HP color inkjet printer that also scans and copies. It’s handy and well-made.

Today I had to update the driver software to fix some bugs.

The download was 200 megabytes.

The uncompressed installation itself was over 400 megabytes.

There was no “custom install” option of less components, only the “default install” of every damned thing.

I had to opt out of their Customer Participation thing which is a daemon that runs constantly telling HP what’s going on.

I had to opt out of instant registration, and then opt out of both a reminder on next login and a dock item that would remind me to register. I also had to opt out of instant registration on the web.

Finally, it shat two useless items on my dock, the photo sharing app and the “device manager” app, that I will use maybe twice a year if at all.

The driver itself is tiny.

I DIDN’T WANT FINS, CHROME, AND FINE COREEEENTHIAN LEATHER ON MY GODDAMNED PRINTER DRIVER.

Edit: I had to buy black ink, which I did on Amazon. HP Ink. One cartridge, high quality, 660 pages: $18. Two cartridges bundled, lower quality, 480 pages each: $33. Math is hard.

2 thoughts on “bloated corpse

  1. I did the same thing last night for five fucking hours setting up a new PC. Somehow I completely fuzzed on the entire CONCEPT of a computer shipping without wifi, so I guess i didn’t add it in. Which meant shredding an ancient fullheight PCI 802.11b card and turning it into a halfheight PCI card and then finding the drivers on a working computer that takes four minutes to launch a new browser window. My choices include 3001a_1, 3001a_2, or 3000a_3. OH MY.
    Then the printer fun could begin!
    DID YOU MEAN THE HP 1980 DESKTOP COMPUTER OR THE HP 1980 DESKJET PRINTER? (are they seriously running out of numbers? is even this tiny bit hard to do right?)
    DO YOU WANT THE 470MB FULL VERSION WITH NETWORK SUPPORT? OR THE 46MB BASIC VERSION? OR THE 45 MB BASIC VERSION WITHOUT NETWORK SUPPORT? WHAT OS? XP 64 BIT OR 32 BIT? CAN I HAVE AN EMAIL? ARE YOU SUUUUUUURE YOU’RE HAVING A FUN TIME ON THIS SITE?
    Then there’s fighting and struggling to get printer sharing working. Then there’s battling the preinstalled shit. Then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then.
    It’s hopeless and pointless and fruitless and made tolerable only by the fact of Google Earth on a modern GPU.

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