Scratch and sniff WHAT?
Pay me out for my Nazi iconography, bitches!
The problem with productivity nowadays.
You can find out where the cellphone towers are near you and map them on a Google map.
There’s a documentary out about the Minutemen. They made life liveable for me in the first half of the 1980s, and miss them terribly. There’s a trailer on the site that catches a little of what turned me upside down at age 17.
This is unedited with the exception of removing names and adding a few [sic]. Note to recruiters: If you’re copy/pasting the same thing to 200 people you’re shotgun-emailing, try spellchecking at least first. Measure once, cut twice, and all that. Quadruple-spaced semiliterate notes with bad spelling and technical errors and four or five exclamation points at the end of each phrase give people the creeps.
My name is [redacted] and I am a senior technical recruiter with [redacted]. I was contacting you today in regards to an exciting opportunity that I have for you.
Linux Administrator
HOT OPPORTUITIES!!!! [sic] High profile company in the financial industries!!!!! [sic] HOT TECHNOLGY!!!![sic] LARGE IT BUDGET!!!!
Experience administering Red Hat Linux in an enterprise environment
Must have expereince[sic] with PERL[sic], Borne[sic] or Shell Scripting
Team oriented, flexible, Subject Matter Expert in some Linux area
Must have experience supporting database applications
Must have a background in Oracle on top of Linux
Red Hat Certification is a HUGE plus
Will be responsible for OS level support
Please contact me when you get a chance, I would like to find out more about your background and experience.
I spent the day sweating. Partly this was because it was over 80 F and unusually humid, although I have no right to complain; just about the rest of the nation had Suicide Weather.
I’m a sweaty guy to start with (helllooo, ladies!), and the happy helmet pills make it worse. When I was on Paxil it was almost humorous, and the current regimen is a lot less perspiratory. But wow, today. My alarm for “too sweaty” is when the waistband of my jeans is damp, and that hit about 1 pm.
I saw actual people I know tonight, which was nice. It was also really nice to get the hell out of the house and be somewhere with a breeze after making spaghetti & meatballs for 4, eating it, and then cleaning up the kitchen for a meal for 4. It’s nice to see my brother & nephew, but I forget each time what it’s like to be the cook for more than one or two people. My meatball-fu improved this time, though.
I just finished paying my Apple loan late (oops), on MBNA’s website. I was annoyed by two things. First, the online payments are delayed a few days, so that even though I had it in time it won’t be in time. It should be instantaneous, come on guys. Second, the slogan for the bank, which is the title of their webpage, is: If You’re Into It, We’re Into It. What. The. Hey? First Bank of Easy Rider?
The good folks at Fresh Whatever Saladcorp want you to know that if you buy leaves from them, they’ll give a soldier a quarter.
I hate to think of the sacrifices they’d feel obliged to make if there was a war on!
If you are having “issues” or “a situation” or “some problem of a personal nature” at my job, you get referred to these assholes, who will recommend an appropriately inexpensive short-term fix for what ails you, and counsel you out of long-term psychotherapy or expensive drugs for your madness or drug habit.
If you’re just sick, the insurance company will push you pretty hard to call these other assholes, who will recommend an appropriately inexpensive approach to what ails you, and counsel you out of surgery or expensive drugs.
They’re both promoted to the employee as caring, committed professionals who will help you through hard decisions, and to the business as cost control.
This is how we ration health care in my country, by hiding triage behind a helpful smile.
Short version: whores, private jets, and rented dwarves. P. Diddy is running your 401(k).
A Wall Street Affair: This Bachelor Party Gets Lots of Attention Probe Centers on Payments For Fidelity Star’s Bash; Private Jet to South Beach
By SUSANNE CRAIG and JOHN HECHINGER
Staff Reporters of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
July 18, 2005
Even by Wall Street’s over-the-top standards, the March 2003 bachelor party for Thomas Bruderman, a onetime star trader for Fidelity Investments, was an event to remember.
The festivities began with a trip by private jet from Boston to a small airport outside New York City. There, the revelers picked up some Wall Street traders and at least two women who investigators suspect may have been paid for their attendance, say people familiar with the matter. The partygoers — including the groom-to-be, who was getting ready to marry the daughter of former Tyco International Ltd. boss L. Dennis Kozlowski — then continued to trendy South Beach in Miami. The fun included a stay at the ritzy Delano Hotel for some, a yacht cruise and entertainment by at least one dwarf hired for the occasion.
“Some people are just into lavish dwarf entertainment,” says the 4-foot-2 Danny Black, a part-owner in Shortdwarf.com, an outfit that rents dwarfs for parties starting at $149 an hour. Mr. Black says he spent part of the weekend on the yacht and worked as a waiter on the Friday night at a high-end Miami eatery alongside what he called “regular size” people. “A good time was had by all,” he said, declining to provide further details.
http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/w4m/84361135.html
i am a single asian girl who is looking to meet a special gentleman in my area for friendship or more.. my expectation is high and i wont settle for less. i would like to meet someone who is smart, confident, strong and fun to hang out with.(loves travel and eat out is must) you need to be successful in business and personal life, able to manage your time and money. i do not want to hear your “i have this and that” “ive done this and that” stories. so please do not try to impress me with your story that i dont really believe anyways.
i am not looking for a sugar daddy or financial support from you so dont try to show off your $$$ either. but if youve never bought a car for your girlfriend, please dont bother. my guy should be capable of doing so whether youd do it for me or not. (if you thought that i am a gold digger or/and dont understand what i mean on here, obviously you do not have the same value or lifestyle as i do, so please dont bother.)
please, no players, one night stand seekers or cheaters.
She’s right. I don’t have the same lifestyle or “value” as she does! Anyway I can’t afford more than a one night stand. Glad to hear she’s not a gold digger, though. Gosh, that would be awful.
She’ll end up with one of the guys who ends his ads “no fatties”, and she’ll get chlamydia. But it’s all part of the career choice, I guess.
“Never trust a whore who says they don’t want money. They’re the most expensive kind.” —William S. Burroughs
I’ve been shopping online for flashlights today, and found what I needed. In the process I temporarily had to enter the insane world of flashlight geeks.
Because the flashlight is a phallic symbol, and because shining a light in someone’s face is a dominance display, flashlight geeks are primarily male. They live in a Tom Clancy world of military fantasy in which the guy with the best gear wins. Let’s read this description of the SureFire E2D Executive Defender:
An advanced technology Xenon lamp that produces a spot-free beam so intense it can momentarily blind an attacker (four times more lighting power than a standard two D-cell flashlight), and its crenellated Strike Bezel™ allows it to be used as a last-ditch impact weapon. Constructed from aerospace-grade aluminum coated in a super rugged military-specification finish, the pocket-size E2D Defender also features an optically-coated Pyrex® lens; high-energy, ten-year shelf-life lithium batteries; a steel pocket clip, and law enforcement-style click-on/off momentary switching for blinding flashes or emergency signaling. A patented lock-out tailcap allows the light to be locked in the off position to eliminate accidental activation when stowed away
And here it is:
$105.
Even better is the M3 Turbo Combatlight, a “Special Operations Flashlight”:
The SureFire M3T is a specialized illumination tool designed to project a tightly focused beam of intense white light at greater ranges than the standard M3 CombatLight . Featuring a 2.5-inch TurboHead reflector to tightly concentrate the beam for longer-range applications, the M3T is CNC machined from aerospace-grade aluminum and coated in a military specification Type III hard-anodized finish that is so tough the knurled handle of the M3T can be used to saw through the aluminum of lesser flashlights. Powered by three lithium batteries (10-year shelf life), the M3T CombatLight™ produces 125 lumens of light for over an hour, or 225 lumens for 20 minutes with the included ultra high output lamp (that’s 15 times the output of a typical 2 D-cell alkaline flashlight). Like all lights in SureFire’s Special Operations Series, the M3T features a shock-isolated bezel/lamp assembly that can withstand the repeated recoil of a large caliber weapon. The M3T also features unique switching originally developed for law enforcement- twist for constant on, or depress the tailcap button for momentary illumination or emergency signaling.
$330. I really like the detail that it can saw through “lesser flashlights” in case an actual flashlight dicksize war occurs.
Don’t get me wrong. I like flashlights! I enjoy bright things, and technology, and geekery. And I need flashlights, because I’m always looking behind a computer to see where the damn cable went, or opening my front door when the porch light is blown out, or some other task. So I ordered a new keychain flashlight, because mine broke. It wasn’t $105, and I believe its aluminum is below aerospace grade and not coated with military spec flashlight coating from the special military flashlight coating plant. It is a lesser flashlight.
I hope I never have to have a flashlight fight with someone who’s geared up with the best of the best, though. I’d totally lose.
From the soon-to-be-deleted http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/w4m/82395173.html. What’s the Mexicanian for “Bad Idea Jeans”?
This is a sincere ad for men that want a nice relationship with a Mexican women. Parties every month for Single guys looking to meet a nice Mexican lady. Men If you have been looking for a girlfriend but don’t have the time or patience for online dating or going to clubs look no further!!!
whoops.
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