Soylent Green, M.D.

If you are having “issues” or “a situation” or “some problem of a personal nature” at my job, you get referred to these assholes, who will recommend an appropriately inexpensive short-term fix for what ails you, and counsel you out of long-term psychotherapy or expensive drugs for your madness or drug habit.

If you’re just sick, the insurance company will push you pretty hard to call these other assholes, who will recommend an appropriately inexpensive approach to what ails you, and counsel you out of surgery or expensive drugs.

They’re both promoted to the employee as caring, committed professionals who will help you through hard decisions, and to the business as cost control.

This is how we ration health care in my country, by hiding triage behind a helpful smile.

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