Year: 2006

Today, Homeland Security salutes the heroes of Livejournal!

Gathering Data
We have recently re-implemented HitBox, a site-wide data-gathering service that will help us dig deeper into how users and visitors use LiveJournal. The data we collect will help us prioritize our improvements to the site, among other things. A few folks were very concerned about privacy with the Hitbox service, and thanks to their feedback we were able to make some changes to how we’ll use the service. Most sites on the web do keep track of which pages you visit, and we’re trying to be even more respectful of your privacy. You won’t actually see a change to your experience using LJ.

from today’s LJ news post.

Just remember folks. DHS, just like Tom, is always your friend!

Marketing, Part III: Run over by “Cars”

The promoters of the movie Cars have rented the entire automotive journalism establishment for a month. It’s amazing. Every car magazine, tv show, web site, blog-where-people-are-paid, everything is simultaneously doing “stories” relating to that movie.

I realized things were headed this way in publishing some time in the 1980s when I walked by the big newsstand on Cahuenga in Hollywood and saw the same actress’s face literally 15 in a row, 15 different magazines, all the same month, promoting the same star of the same movie.

In artillery, a “time on target” is a technique in which different batteries at different locations and distances from a target time each of their firings so that all of the shells arrive in the same place at the same time, multiplying their effect with terrifying simultaneity from all directions.

The marketers have us bracketed and they are firing for effect. Help!

More Marketing Prose! DNA

This stuff is on the Extinct Beverages page, so I guess it’s gone. It was water, with a little fruit flavoring, and 5% alcohol. Yeah. Its marketing website lives on, and says:

DNA: It’s Water with an Attitude! The world’s one and only alcoholic spring water.

I AM DNA

A refreshing combination of clear spring water, natural fruit flavor, with an alcohol level of 5%.

DRINK THIS

DNA explodes onto the beverage market. The wild child of alcoholic drinks will hijack your imagination. You don’t have to understand it. Just get on the ride.

BIG OPPORTUNITY

DNA launches its asault on North America in Spring of 2000. Alternative alcohol products have been the rage of lifestyle cities around the world. Thrill seekers and tastemakers in your market are eager to try DNA. It’s an “Australian original.” Go for it…with a vengeance!

I AM SERIOUS

The combined strengths of Wet Planet Beverage and Canadaigua Brands, Inc. will lead DNA among market movers and shakers. DNA will be pumpin’ with bar & club sampling programs along with consumer promotions. A mega-cool press campaign is sure to prompt word-of-mouth and great demand!

motion in the ocean (oo wah)

beachparty

  1. AIIGH! The Paxil is self-replicating and attacking the other Paxil!
  2. YOW! The water down there is so hot, it’s entered a weird different state of matter!
  3. YOICKS! The Luba people of central Africa have a totally awesome memory board technology!
  4. Shut up and make your own Custom Loaf, damnit!

Edit: Maciej got all up in my grill about the phrase “weird different state of matter”. Let the record show that I am aware that super extra hot steam is not strictly speaking a state of matter, even if it is supercritical. However, I do maintain that supercritical water is still totally weird. Thank you. Does anyone have some cashews and/or Paypal?