Someday they’ll all be President

It pisses me off when people post warnings about DUI enforcement online. They say stuff like “take a cab tonight if you’re going towards $TOWN” or “they’re running a checkpoint at Newport & Flower, pass it on”.

How about just not driving drunk? Ever? It’s not hard to avoid. You’ll be helping your friends the best possible way by not killing and maiming them.

If you can afford to go out and drink but you somehow can’t afford to cab it home then you’re just being a fucking sociopath. Stay home and drink, okay? Helping the other sociopaths mow us all down isn’t nice.

13 thoughts on “Someday they’ll all be President

  1. T SUBSTITUTE U DON UNNERSTAND I HAVE TO DRIVE THE HOT CHIX HOME FROM SUTRA I CNA’T TAKE A CAB THEY NEED TO FEEL THE LEATHER OF MY BMW BEFORE I HUMP THEM

    1. I’d prepared a lengthy argument in response to your entry, Mr Substitute, but this fine man beat me to it and so eloquently put it into one sentence. I mean, they need to feel that leather.

      1. Re: A.. a.. man?
        Hey, it’s news to me too!
        Talking about time being totally WASTED. Think of all the time I spent in line waiting for women’s bathrooms when I could have just waltzed up to any open urinal! Plus money wasted. Do you realize how much tampons cost?

      2. Re: also: vulve
        OMG YOU MEAN MAIS WEE
        Also, I just died about 1,000 deaths of happiness. Thank you for that link. So far, I think nez is my favorite.

  2. I think a lot of this would be handled nicely if we stopped incarcerating people for recreational private drug use, and replaced them with those who drive drunk/stoned. We’d have PLENTY of room for the drunks, and let the non-harmful stoners out.

  3. I think we need to start thinking more in line with the current administration if we want to propose a solution that is both effective and likely.
    So obviously, road-side executions.

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