Peppermint Patty Died For Your Sins

Go ahead and celebrate St. Patrick’s day. Even if you’re not in any way Irish. Even if you don’t understand a thing about the politics of the celebration and its slogans and songs. Have corned beef and Guinness and try not to drive drunk, it’s all good. Hell, the Japanese seem to enjoy Christmas, too. Holidays are fun.

But if you call it or spell it “St. Patty’s Day” I’m going to come over to your house and beat you about the head and neck with “The Copy Editor’s Shillelagh”, otherwise known as a 1913 Webster’s English Dictionary with cast iron covers and spikes, on the end of a chain.

20 thoughts on “Peppermint Patty Died For Your Sins

  1. Up the ‘RA
    I suppose it would be asking too much for the Shillelagh-of-Truth be applied to anyone drinking green beer… You could just walk into Pierce St. Annex and start whacking away…
    mojo sends

      1. Erin, Go Braghless
        I say that about 40 or 50 times each St. Patrick’s Day. I also sing “Danny Boy” and “Wearing of the Green” and scream “BEGORRAH” a couple of times at the top of my lungs.
        My wife doesn’t think any of it is charming or funny, but I can’t help meself.

    1. For some reason that doesn’t bug me as much. At least “Paddy” is the approved Irish diminutive for “Patrick”. “Patty” is the lady in HR who has to stamp your timecard, or maybe a cartoon character.

      1. and yet, there are no patricks who go by “pad” for short.
        i guess i can accept patty more readily than paddy because it’s more structurally correct, and also because it’s traditionally short for patricia, which comes from patrick. like how chris can be short for christine/a or for christopher. or christian. men and woman alike.
        but whatever, they both look pretty stupid.

      2. and how the hell do they get Dick out of Richard?
        Wow. I was being serious but when I typed it out, it’s pretty damn funny!

  2. …with “The Copy Editor’s Shillelagh”, otherwise known as a 1913 Webster’s English Dictionary with cast iron covers and spikes, on the end of a chain.
    …isn’t that, then, no longer a shillelagh but a mace?

  3. I have no interest whatsoever in St. Patrick’s/Patty’s/Paddy’s day, but I have to say – I think “shillelagh” is the funniest word ever.

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