To Don’t List (slight return)

  • Going to IHOP during All-You-Can-Eat-Pancakes promotion and eating three servings of pancakes after being on a low-calorie, low-carbohydrate regimen for two years
  • Trying — several times — to remove a contact lens from your left eye when the lens is in fact not there.
  • Mixing an underlying neurologic injury, resultant ADD-like and emotional pathologies, long-term personality and character issues, three psychiatric medications including a stimulant, and two dangerous sites for neurofeedback all in the same month
  • Listening to Devo and Neil Young duetting on “Hey Hey My My” from the soundtrack to Human Highway. (Only made 3:14 into a 9:43 track, and friends can testify that my tolerance for funnypain bad music is very, very high)
  • Putting some dark brown curry spice powder in a peanut butter jar that was then placed next to the other peanut butter jar containing the actual dark brown peanut butter

3 thoughts on “To Don’t List (slight return)

  1. Please add going to Dennys at 2am, eating eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes and cherry coke and then going home and going right to sleep. You wake up pregnant. BUT NOT WITH A BABY!

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