Tag: askingoutthewaitress

To Don’t List (slight return)

  • Going to IHOP during All-You-Can-Eat-Pancakes promotion and eating three servings of pancakes after being on a low-calorie, low-carbohydrate regimen for two years
  • Trying — several times — to remove a contact lens from your left eye when the lens is in fact not there.
  • Mixing an underlying neurologic injury, resultant ADD-like and emotional pathologies, long-term personality and character issues, three psychiatric medications including a stimulant, and two dangerous sites for neurofeedback all in the same month
  • Listening to Devo and Neil Young duetting on “Hey Hey My My” from the soundtrack to Human Highway. (Only made 3:14 into a 9:43 track, and friends can testify that my tolerance for funnypain bad music is very, very high)
  • Putting some dark brown curry spice powder in a peanut butter jar that was then placed next to the other peanut butter jar containing the actual dark brown peanut butter