Tag: politics

I voted.

I put my voter sticker with the flag on it on my shirt, but upside down to indicate distress. The flag outside in the parking lot wasn’t upside down yet, but it was looking a bit forlorn. Will the last small d democrat out of Orange County please bring it?

What so proudly we hailed

Proposal: NaGoOvMo

Instead of wasting our time with “National Novel Writing Month” and making up a cute name for it, I propose that we do something useful: overthrow our stupid fucking government, who have proven themselves in their entirety (all branches and both parties) to be wicked, venal, stupid, lazy, arrogant, and dangerous to the entire world. A clean sweep. Replace them maybe with ostriches as Robert Anton Wilson suggested.

I mean, seriously. Even my conservative Republican acquaintances can’t stand these people any more, and those of us on the other side of the aisle would have no problem dumping all the Democrats too. They’ve had their verbal warning and their written warning. It’s time to terminate them and have Security walk them out.

Anyway the thing is, we have to do it together, and we have to do it all in one month. I propose: National Government Overthrow Month, or NaGoOvMo.

Who’s in?

The part of “psychotic First Lady” is to be played by Piper Laurie

zombie lizard queen

Possible explanations for this photo include:

  1. David Icke is right. Both the English Royal Family and the U.S. leadership are actually evil space lizards, or “reptoids”. In this shot Laura Bush has just seen Icke across the room and is uncontrollably morphing into her true reptilian self.
  2. Prince Charles, on a desperate Bond-like mission to save the world from the Bush administration, has his Walther PPK in the small of the First Lady’s back as he tries to force the President to resign. This is a doomed effort because the President doesn’t give a shit about his wife or anyone else.
  3. It has now been proven that if you give Camilla Parker-Bowles an injection of curare directly into her spine she turns into Laura Bush.
  4. Condi Rice is across the room and she and the First Lady are having an “evil face” contest.
  5. Cocaine.
  6. As Mrs. Bush explains to Charles that they’ll be snacking on babies later with Karl Rove, he desperately tries to catch the eye of his assistant to get him the fuck out of there to somewhere he can drink this whole fucking visit out of his head.

Add yours as you please!

or maybe some paracetamol

  1. Don’t mess with Icelandic women: On October 24 1975, 90% of Iceland’s women refused to work, cook or look after children.
  2. Don’t mess with Japanese guys: A Japanese man was so enraged by an acquaintance’s failure to address him with an honorific that he stabbed the man to death with an umbrella.. It was the second killing with an umbrella in Japan in less than a month.
  3. Neurofeedback techniques are being used with music now too.

photo essay: The National Clandestine Service

It was announced yesterday that the new National Clandestine Service, which will oversee our nation’s spying, will be headed by an unknown individual who will be known only as “José”. Immediately I heard flamenco music in my head, saw the shimmering heat of a Mexican town at the turn of the century, heard hoofbeats. A masked hero was racing to save us: ¡Zorro! However, given the track record of this administration, I doubt we’ll get Don Diego.

Here’s what we want:

Here’s what we more realistically should hope for:

And here’s what we’ll get: