Tag: failure

Pecked to Death by Ducks

Friday night! Going to hang out with John & Elan & Nicole! Whee!

Phone in near death state. Not getting messages from anyone, getting ghost voicemail, SIM NOT RECOGNIZED, Phone not ready! OK?, YOUR MESSAGE CANNOT BE SENT. Finally get hold of John 0.03 minutes before we’re supposed to meet.

Go to wash my face and hands before exiting and there’s no hot water. 45 minutes of intense investigation including dust in face, rust in face, loud clanks of covers being removed, fear of fuel-air explosive incident, and increasing rage. Outcome: water heater not getting gas; everything else getting gas just fine. Painful and vexing procedure for pilot light is pointless.

So now! No hot water, and no hot water until Monday unless I want to pay weekend service charges for someone from the buttcrack professions. Sponge bath and bad dishwashing ahoy.

Monday: service profession angst, expensive, cheatr plumrs, possible entire week of Water Heater Adventure.

It’s not like being raped by baboons in Mombasa or anything but boy I’m annoyed.

DEAR THE CINGULAR/AT&T PHONE COMPANY

I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE IT IF:

MY PHONE RANG WHEN PEOPLE CALLED ME INSTEAD OF SENDING THEM TO VOICE MAIL

THE VOICE MAIL INDICATOR WOULD SHOW THAT I HAD RECEIVED SAID VOICEMAIL SOONER THAN 12 HOURS LATER

THE PHONE WOULD NOT CRASH WHEN LEFT UNATTENDED

THE PHONE, WHEN RESTARTED, WOULD REMEMBER MY NETWORK PASSWORD SO THAT I COULD USE ITS NETWORK FEATURES

THE PHONE, WHEN RESTARTED, WOULD REMEMBER MY WIFI AUTHENTICATION FOR SIMILAR REASONS

THERE WAS ANY INDICATION THAT ANYONE KNEW OR CARED THAT THESE PROBLEMS ARE OCCURRING

BEST,

substitute

Try our fleshpot lover’s fleshpizza!

I, doll, a tree.

Admittedly it’s not as good as the actual “Christian Idol” contest, but it’s still a win. Please assume all jokes about “extra golden calf” to have been made.

Bonus points for “Superbowl Syndrome” in which the pizza company can’t actually say “American Idol” because that’s an owned phrase, so they have to somehow push the concept of idolatry itself through warm disc foods.

But is it available in powdered form?

Spam du jour, via Xanga:

Sup ignatzmous, my name is Chad am Im 18 years old, i have been involved in the web-development area for a few years now. Recently I released a web site specifically made for teens.

Its a general site that exercises the first amendment. My site is called Beast Toast. It has about 8,000 members already, so if you have a question about something, or just want to share your thoughts feel free to hit my site up.

Site: http://www.BeastToast.com
Register: http://www.BeastToast.com/forum/register.php
~Chad

Sup Chad. Beet toast? Beast totes? Bee Stoats? First amendment? web-development? CHAD?

I could have told them all this years ago

There is a Yahoo! Discussion Group solely devoted to pissed-off investors in Diedrich Coffee:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/diedrichforum/

The Register ran an article about it today.

I like the fact that the pissed-off investor’s pissed-off introduction refers to Gloria Jean’s as their “best business.” Actually I remember their “best business” and it was kinda different from that. Kiss your cash goodbye, guys. Maybe Starbucks will give you a nickel on your dollar.