Great Moments in Publicity: Armageddonist!

Courtesy jenlight. For me this brought back a memory of my time at the newspaper. Our typesetter hated the food writer’s prose with a passion. Due to irrepressible immaturity he would insert uncomplimentary things about her and her writing in the copy while setting it. We in Editorial would then have to find and remove them. It was really funny the first time.

Greenpeace’s fill-in-the-blank public relations meltdown

Before President Bush touched down in Pennsylvania Wednesday to promote his nuclear energy policy, the environmental group Greenpeace was mobilizing.

“This volatile and dangerous source of energy” is no answer to the country’s energy needs, shouted a Greenpeace fact sheet decrying the “threat” posed by the Limerick reactors Bush visited.

But a factoid or two later, the Greenpeace authors were stumped while searching for the ideal menacing metaphor.

We present it here exactly as it was written, capital letters and all: “In the twenty years since the Chernobyl tragedy, the world’s worst nuclear accident, there have been nearly [FILL IN ALARMIST AND ARMAGEDDONIST FACTOID HERE].”

Had Greenpeace been hacked by a nuke-loving Bush fan? Or was this proof of Greenpeace fear-mongering?

The aghast Greenpeace spokesman who issued the memo, Steve Smith, said a colleague was making a joke by inserting the language in a draft that was then mistakenly released.

“Given the seriousness of the issue at hand, I don’t even think it’s funny,” Smith said.

The final version did not mention Armageddon. It just warned of plane crashes and reactor meltdowns.

-Jeff Shields

Attention area pervo predators

Holding the puppy in your arms does not cancel out the ski mask and endear you to potential victims. This guy is probably not going to be hard to catch.

Police seek help finding man Irvine girl said accosted her
The incident in which the man reportedly wore a ski mask and held a puppy happened at about 2:45 p.m. Wednesday.

By JOHN McDONALD
The Orange County Register

IRVINE – Police are asking for the public’s help in finding a man a 12-year-old said accosted her while wearing a ski mask and holding a puppy on a leash.

The incident occurred at about 2:45 p.m. Wednesday in the area of Deer Spring. He made no attempt to pull her into his car, police said. Two similar incidents took place May 18.

The man was described as 5 feet 7 inches tall, 160 to 180 pounds, wearing a black long-sleeve shirt with the word “Hurley” across the front, dress black pants and brown work boots. He was driving a tan four-door Honda.

Anyone with information is asked to call 949-724-7172.

Wayne LaPierre, Embarrassing Wingnut

http://www.economist.com/world/na/PrinterFriendly.cfm?story_id=6980071

In horrific war zones like Sierra Leone and Angola, the UN runs programs for “disarmament, demobilisation, rehabilitation and reintegration” of former soldiers. Often these are people who grew up fighting and have no clue how to live any other way. They give up their guns and in return get education and a leg up into normal society. (A friend of mine worked in one of these programs.)

Guess who thinks that’s a bad idea? Wayne LaPierre, the Mouth of the U.S. National Rifle Association. Why would Wayne be down on this idea? Because he thinks the next step is… wait for it… the U.N. coming here to the U.S. and forcibly disarming and reeducating all of us. At least he didn’t call it “ZOG”.

This story would be hilarious, but Wayne has a lot of influence and a lot of cash. Despite getting crazier and crazier over the years and losing a lot of high profile supporters, the NRA still commands respect in politics.

Hey, Wayne? Former child soldiers in Liberia don’t want their guns. They want their lives back. And if “the government” comes for us, it’ll be our own and personal firearm ownership will barely slow them down. Just ask the residents of Fallujah how much the household AK-47 helped when the Marines showed up.

See you in Camp Halliburton!

Evildoer located

They busted a terrorist cell and weapons depot in San Bernardino County. There were more than 1,300 weapons, including machine guns, silencers, and a grenade. There were five pounds of C4 plastic explosive and a terrorist training camp at a chicken ranch in Pomona.

But it’s a below-the-fold news story. Why aren’t there breaking story alerts, live press conferences, CNN 3-D reconstructions of the scene, constant re-running of grainy arrest footage?

Because he’s a Cuban exile, of course. Those are the happy kind of terrorist.

Please adjust your dogs

According to the Los Angeles Times, chihuahuas are out and pugs are in for the tiny-dog-carrying set.

Those of you who were raising hundreds of chihuahuas in hydroponic tanks in your closets have just found yourselves at the top of the market; sorry about that. If you’re lucky, you can unload the li’l barkers to clueless social climbers in the Inland Empire before they get the message.

Otherwise, it’s chili night!

Okay, Nick, fess up.

What kind of insane death-cult ritual were you doing over there? Did something go terribly awry at the Beltane party?

Deer on Lido Isle sedated, relocated
Authorities aren’t sure how buck got across the channel. Animal is released in Crystal Cove.
By Lauren Vane
(Published: May 5, 2006)

A young male deer that found its way onto Lido Isle in Newport Beach was corralled by animal control officers Friday and taken to Crystal Cove State Park, where it was released.

A deer got WHERE?