Courtesy eyeteeth:
http://www.modernplanetnyc.com/shirt_demented.html
Tag: commerce
Summer Intern Week in Marketing Everywhere Continues!
This just in from Dover Motor Speedway and VISA to my email inbox:
Cup Race at Dover to be named the “Autism Speaks 400 presented by Visa”
Gosh, the Asburgers at this stadium are delicious. And with the choice, convenience, acceptance, and security of VISA I could make them happen!
MY POISON INJECTION IS HERE! MY POISON INJECTION IS HERE!
I’m getting the botulism shot into my neck and shoulder today at 11:45.
Instead of having Allergan and my insurance company approve everything I’m just going to bring this swelled-up can of oysters.
Actually. when the doctor’s office called me this morning she said that it turns out for this diagnosis no preapproval is needed. So the whole second half of this nightmare was unnecessary. She boggled at this because of the number of units of poison needed; it’s a first time for that.
So wish me luck. I’m getting a few $900 injections today that may or may not give me back my God-damned arm.
the slappy hand of justice
A shitty doctor who gave me bad medical care 17 years ago is now up on FORTY SEVEN FELONY COUNTS for doing, well, what he did to me: overcharging and charging for nonexistent services.
Odd that I reported him back then and only now is the bastard on the hook. You don’t forget a name like “Mario Rosenberg.” (He’s an Argentine.)
The guy literally stuck something up my ass and then overcharged me for it. I recall telling my next doctor the story and he said “Mario did that?” Yeah, and Luigi helped.
Today in Junk Mail (paper kind)
Mom gets junk mail with message on the outside: “FREE PREPAID CREMATION! DETAILS INSIDE.”
Her: “I can’t wait to find out how this deal works!”
Me: “For chrissakes don’t open that envelope until you’re ready to be cremated!”
SAVE THE CHOCOLATE
via la_lisa, an appeal to save the integrity of chocolate from adulterous chocobusiness scheming.
I’m not a huge fan of cocoa butter myself (hurf white chocolate bleah) but it’s PART OF CHOCOLATE. You can’t replace it with partially hydrogenated neat’s foot oil or something and call it chocolate. It Would Be Wrong.
I BOLGED about it over at buzznet: http://ignatz.buzznet.com/user/journal/191271/ to get the TEENS involved.
Yes, this is weak stupid bourgeois activism. I’m a suburban white kid who likes to cook. Go stuff it.
late night thoughts on seeing yet another patently dishonest advertisement
When you’re tired of fraud, you’re tired of capitalism.
THE EDIBLE TALLOW TRAIN IS HERE! THE EDIBLE TALLOW TRAIN IS HERE!
I blame brainflak
It’s far worse; I upload.
At UC Irvine today. This sign is clearly hand-lettered by cheerful sorority girls or their functional equivalent. What kind of collaborationist Quisling would work so hard for the Mafia music business? Do I even want to know?
In which salome and I discuss the ubiquity of hip roller derby
salome_st_john also if I NEVER see another roller derby photo again I will be so excited and I have friends in roller derby I AM SO SICK OF IT
substitute yup. we should franchise it to junior high schools and retire rich
salome_st_john oh christ best idea ever
substitute has the roller derby cute girls indie boys movie happened yet? it’ll be like the Singles or Breakfast Club for this generation of blurpsters. The Postal Service playing as our heroine goes for the gold. Pardon me while I have a small seizure, here
salome_st_john ONE BLEACH MARTUNI COMING UP
substitute GLOBBLE
The sounds of the 90s, the roller derby excitement of the millennium, and the girls you love: It’s Henry Rollins’ Saturday Night Derby show! With special guest host Ben Gibbard and musical appearances by AFI, Ozomatli, and Juliette and the Licks!
salome_st_john I just peed
substitute I’m going to hell, aren’t I.
salome_st_john luckily I’ll be driving
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