Tag: commerce

Incomprehensible reply to fraud report

I get that daily monster.com update for jobs that match my keywords. Not because I’m actively looking for a job, but because I want to know what’s going on my field. Usually it’s a stream of boring but totally doable gigs which makes me feel more secure. Occasionally it’s amusing or alarming. And, far too often, there are things that aren’t jobs but are instead trolls of some advertising for-pay job services.

These are almost always labeled something like “Work from home for major companies” and have every single location as their “home”, and some other obvious giveaways. A couple of years ago they were constant, and I gave up flagging them because I figured Monster was just selling those slots because the job market was slow.

Today I saw one, clicked through to look at it, and saw the usual website ad troll rather than a real job. This time I reported it as fraudulent through Monster’s own system, which is hard to find at first. I received the reply you see below. The last paragraph makes no sense at all and I would appreciate translation.

Content Title
Report site abuse

Discussion Thread
Response (Anisa P Varghese) 07/05/2006 05:40 AM
Hello substitute,

Thank you for contacting Monster Customer Central.

substitute, there are regulations and terms of use that must be met in order to post on the website. There is also screening for all postings listed on the website. Although this is true it is possible for a small amount of fraudulent postings to appear on the site. We have a department dedicated to locating, tracking, removing, and prosecuting when these issues do arrive. If you notice any specific fraudulent listings on the website please forward information in regards to those listings to this Email address or to “siteabuse@monster.com” (this will send directly to our Fraud prevention team). We will immediatly research and remove postings that are fraudulently posted on our site.

I would like to inform you that in some job posting when we click on the apply online button it takes us to the website of the company that posted the job. In such cases we need to set up an account in that web site for entering into the site to post for the job. The case you are referring to is also a similar one. I suggest you to create an account in the webpage you get and move forward and post for the job.

If there is anything else I can assist you with, please advise.

Have a good day, substitute !

Warm Regards,
Anisa Varghese
Monster Customer Central.

Everything is attainable.

Brent wants to be my friend. This is awesome, because Brent runs Absolute Power Dating, a resource for guys just like me to get dating tijps that are absolute, and powerful.

Brent could actually use a little bit of my help with language. I understand that, in his latest blog entry, he means to say that socially inept ugly guys can too get that dreamgirl they saw on the tv, but “UNATTAINABLE MY ASS!” sounds more like the weak protest of the bi-curious man on the edge. Oh it’s attainable all right, Brent. You’re such a tease.

Something something invasion of Normandy, oh this isn’t for me

Payroll company faxes 121 pages of confidential stuff to wrong person

Wrong number faxes are a huge risk. It’s obviously possible to typo an email address, but since so many of them are names or words the sender is doing a visual checksum as the email is written and sent. Punching in a string of numbers is different, and with so very many faxes out there the chance of getting a friendly “okay!” from the wrong number is pretty good.

When I was at the hospital we paid a lot of attention to this because we were frequently faxing medical records to physicians. We had a rule that we would fax nothing to any insurance company, only to the attending physician or a specialist for whom we had written permission from the attending to share records. People always wanted us to fax stuff RIGHT NOW! but it was very important that we refuse.

One day I got an incoming fax that made no sense. The clerk had just dumped it on my desk. It was from one of the big accounting firms, and was about 20 pages of detailed financial information. It had nothing to do with the hospital. On close inspection this was a detailed financial analysis for one of the parties in an impending merger of two large companies.

I called the guy and told him I had it, and that it was okay, I worked at a hospital and I was going to shred it. He nearly cried. “Good thing I didn’t call the recipient, eh?” I said jovially.

Faxes are dumb.

The Prescription

This is the story about how refilling one generic prescription that I have been on for more than a year has taken the whole week so far and is not done yet. I present to you the combined effects of: tightly coupled systems; similar numbers; incompetent yet confident clerks; persistent computer errors that are not corrected; supply chain mishaps; and poorly handled mergers. Ladies and gentlemen, come with me on a fantastic voyage to: THE PHARMACY!

cut for length, this was so crazy

More Marketing Prose! DNA

This stuff is on the Extinct Beverages page, so I guess it’s gone. It was water, with a little fruit flavoring, and 5% alcohol. Yeah. Its marketing website lives on, and says:

DNA: It’s Water with an Attitude! The world’s one and only alcoholic spring water.

I AM DNA

A refreshing combination of clear spring water, natural fruit flavor, with an alcohol level of 5%.

DRINK THIS

DNA explodes onto the beverage market. The wild child of alcoholic drinks will hijack your imagination. You don’t have to understand it. Just get on the ride.

BIG OPPORTUNITY

DNA launches its asault on North America in Spring of 2000. Alternative alcohol products have been the rage of lifestyle cities around the world. Thrill seekers and tastemakers in your market are eager to try DNA. It’s an “Australian original.” Go for it…with a vengeance!

I AM SERIOUS

The combined strengths of Wet Planet Beverage and Canadaigua Brands, Inc. will lead DNA among market movers and shakers. DNA will be pumpin’ with bar & club sampling programs along with consumer promotions. A mega-cool press campaign is sure to prompt word-of-mouth and great demand!

The unspeakable lured by the unreadable

I try not to to be too hard on hack writers most of the time. It’s hard to make a living in journalism, and a lot of jobs are at boring and stultifying industry house organs or shilltalk ad rags. These are people who wanted to be ink-stained front page reporters or film critics and they get to write about aluminum foil or fabulous getaway weekends. Sometimes, though, they cross a line. This piece, from a credit card company’s luxury travel magazine, is… well, I’ll pay you a quarter if you read the whole thing straight through. It’s for our local South County seaside resort, and the writers decided that instead of the usual luxury porn template that bored them so, they’d use an alternative literary form for thier puff piece: A film script! Because that’s what they really wanted to do anyway.

THE SCRIPT