Kermie? Sometimes my arms bend backwards.

This new icon, which I received from the lovely and talented rumplestiltskin rumplestimpskin sparked a conversation back and forth with theodora last night. Because Kermit is flailing in front of red curtains it reminded her of Twin Peaks, and we began casting a remake of Twin Peaks starring only Muppets.

I think the best thing to start with is to give almost all the female parts to Miss Piggy. Maybe Donna Hayward can be played by Janice, the musician and nurse with the big lipstick. But a vast array of Miss Piggies in all pretty girl or crazy lady roles seems best, partly because Miss Piggy will kick our asses if we don’t give her the pretty girl roles and will shine in the crazy lady ones. I mean, she IS Nadine, and she’ll demand to be Laura Palmer. Josie will be a stretch for her, but I can’t for the moment think of any Muppets who could easily do a very intense Chinese lady with close-cropped hair. Other casting by my own prejudices is below:

Dr. Jacoby: Dr. Teeth
Pete Martell: Oscar the Grouch
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Fozzy Bear
The One-Armed Man: Animal
Benjamin Horne: Sam the Eagle
Backwards Talking Dwarf: Elmo
Deputy Andy Brennan: Grover

I’m having trouble casting Albert Rosenfield, Ed Hurley, Leo, Bobby Briggs, and a few others.

On the subject of Bob, the first thing that comes to mind is Animal, but Animal is far too innocent and bouncy despite the hair. I was thinking maybe Zoot or Sgt. Floyd Pepper from Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, but part of me just wants to go for the gold and give Gonzo the part.

Corrections and suggestions are more than welcome. For reference here’s a list of Muppets and a Twin Peaks cast reference.

there wasn’t no body and there wasn’t no blood

  1. Whoa, 1000 year old ceramics rescued from shipwreck!
  2. Daliesque melting sofa will fit in any scheme of décor. Trust me.
  3. Celebrities do like their personally branded fragrances, but some of them should choose something other than their last names. Why not “Alan”, fer chrissakes?
  4. Lesbian stalker loses vampire love battle. I said, LESBIAN STALKER LOSES VAMPIRE LOVE BATTLE! The headlines in my town are more like “Area market showcases broccoli”.
  5. Merlin Mann has collected all those great textads you get that urge you to get get bargains on bowel disease or neofascism, ,etc in a flickr set.
  6. Here is a neat website about the Northern Lights (aurora borealis).
  7. Okay, old meme, but PANTERA POPE!. (audio on page)

Grinning stoner chick says: get a god damned job

That’s the graphic banner that monster.com currently has behind the text urging you to create or update your resume. Miscellaneous very young smiling woman. At first I thought they meant to say that they are a portal for 16-year-old girls who have had too much Boone’s Farm. I showed it around and fimmtiu pointed out that she seems to have teeth ideally suited to removing bark from trees, and that perhaps the slogan should be: “Join our team of busy beavers at Monster.com!”

I thought that was pretty good. What the hell do you think they’re saying here?

razors in the apples

Dream Syndicate – Halloween (mp3, 8.7M)

There’s a place you might wanna go
It’s right up my street
You might look and see the light shining
Someone you might like to meet
It’s Halloween

He says “let’s go for a ride”
And he says it all the time
You know you got a lot to live for
And you’re gonna be mine
On Halloween

You shouldn’t believe the things in papers
They can’t come true
And don’t believe the things that you see on TV
They’ll never happen to you
No, not on Halloween

Two steps forward
Don’t say I didn’t warn you
Two steps forward
Oh, no, I didn’t warn you.

Printer Friendly For Over 20 Years

  1. Scientific American has a good general article on flu pandemic preparation
  2. Today’s wacky Norwegians story: hilarious anti-littering ad campaign.
  3. As chosen by the Daily Telegraph and Novartis in the UK, here are the best science photos of 2005. I especially like the peppercorn next to the salt grain:

    salt n pepa

  4. Wait, wait, wait. My country’s people are spending $3.29 billion on WHAT this year? Empires in Decline, folks, Empires in Decline.
  5. Surreality TV: America’s Next Top Muppet.
  6. I am enjoying the eggcorns. And by “enjoying” I mean “cringing in a snobby way”.

Important items for your consideration.

I often fall asleep with my jeans still on, and later I wake up and get properly undressed for bed. Night before last this happened again. I woke up later feeling very cold. Upon investigation I discovered I was not wearing my pants. Furthermore, I could not find my sheet. Why am I pantsless and uncovered?

I found my jeans at the foot of the bed. Groggy and annoyed, I picked them up. Hmm, they’re kind of stuffed-feeling, what’s.. WHAT? The sheet was wadded up and stuffed in one leg.

—

When my cat decides to get in my lap and love me, she kneads me in a kittenish way. When she does this she drools. Is this a kitten preparing to suckle reaction of some kind? Does anyone know? It’s sort of cute and gross at the same time.

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The other day I passed a business that followed my Rule of Business Names, which is that all pet grooming places and low-end hair salons must have horrible cute names. It was called THE DOG SPAW. Now I know what they meant by this, the lame spa/paw joke, but doesn’t DOG SPAW sound like something you have to clean up because your dog ate the soap and some raw bacon?