http://www.mensnewsdaily.com/

It’s been very hot and humid here, extremely unpleasant and not typical.

Last night I barely slept, and finally gave up and decided to try and fix Mom’s G3 Mac. Said mac was totally toast and required a full reinstall of MacOS 9, which is fun to do especially at 3 am. After this, I went to clean up the kitchen at about 5 and that’s when the top rack popped out of the dishwasher. My dishwasher is Lemarchand’s Box and I spent the next 3 hours, and then two more two-hour chunks of today trying to fix it. I eventually gave up. I am going to pay someone money to come deal with this.

So you can sum up the last 24 hours for me as: soaked in sweat, stinky, swearing, and fighting with defective technology. I didn’t go to work. I didn’t eat much of anything.

If I lived in someplace like Florida I would be a non-stop 24/7 serial killer.

Aghast onlookers had watched as, 12 laps into the race, the 56-year-old man, clad in a kilt and carrying a placard saying “Read The Bible: The Bible Is Always Right”, climbed over a 10ft-high mesh protective fence and began running up the Hangar Straight against the direction of the competing cars.

Gothic Cat Rescue?

As a gray cat who complains a lot, I think mine is more of an 80s britpop animal. What’s yours?

Tonight’s dream inventory:

1. The Matrix movies turn out to be a Scientology plot. They’re heavily promoted by the L. Ron crowd and turn people into killer zombies. I’m shooting the zombies with a variety of semiautomatic handguns, many of which are in poor repair and keep jamming. Also, I’m deeply frustrated by the 10-round limitation on magazines which is a big drag when 20 zombies are coming at you through a narrow doorway.
   

2. The cat disappears but I find her two blocks away hanging out with my mom, who is remodeling a neighbor’s house. The cat leaps all the way up onto my shoulder even though I’m on a bike, and yowls insistently to be taken home, where she immediately runs for her litter box.
   

3. Work-related nightmare involving Akamai Edge Server Includes output caching page assembly failure, lots of angry bosses. All takes place inexplicably at an outdoor BBQ.
   

4. I miss brienigma and meta_kate‘s going away party because I’ve been in the Le Mans race, which was on the 405 Freeway in Costa Mesa. They’re really mad, and so is everyone else, and I can’t even apologize because no one’s cellphone works.

Despite all this I had a good night’s sleep.

In a rich West Country Sauce..

I’m foofoo for faggypuffs, myself. BLARRRRRRK!

From our building manager:

I understand that some tenants have been concerned about a strange orange smell in the building. As you all know the 3rd floor is under construction. Last night around 4 they had to use an orange scented solvent which caused the odor. The solvent has been used before and it has been confirmed that it is completely non-toxic. I realize this may cause an inconvenience to some of you, and I’d like to thankyou all for understanding the special circumstances that are normally caused by construction. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns and I will address them individually.

Ok, let’s see you drink a glass of it.

I’m not sure what else to say.

A chance remark about inappropriate buzzwords showing up in fantasy fiction leads to:

Late night battles between Outlook and the Silmarillion

I was talking to eyeteeth earlier who asked a pertinent question about the last heat-inspired rage festival I’d posted. The question (paraphrased) was: If you don’t like pseudo-ironic bigotry, why do you like jerkcity, when it’s all about gaybashing, misogyny, and similar tasteless crap?

Matters of taste are hard to dispute, and matters of bad taste doubly so, but I’ll try.

I think Jerkcity appeals to me because the characters are weak, unhappy, embarrassed losers who keep saying and doing the wrong thing. They’re all like Charlie Brown to me. As I think it was Pants once said, OH MY GOD THIS IS WAY TOO PERSONAL WHERE IS THE BACKSPACE?

Also, my objection to pseudo-ironic bullshit blaxploitation and midget shows is that the people who do this believe they’re above actually being bigoted twits and that this is somehow an airy Post-Neo-Deconstructionist commentary. The Jerkcity guys just seem to be really high and later on to be terribly hung over and worried what happened, which is at once less mean and more realistic. T QUENTIN FECHEZ LA TEXTE I MEAN LA VACHE OH FUCK THOSE WERE MY GOOD DIAPERS

Watching some upper middle class kids wear fake afros and sing “Shaft” on stage or seeing the midget cohost on the extreme sports show feels to me like watching someone kick a dog and laugh. Reading Jerkcity makes me feel like watching someone who has had 8 shots of tequila and thinks he *is* his dog, and then later hearing him tell the story of that night.

Does this make sense? If not, please explain and/or clarify.

also: THE POO SHOULD BE SCARED