Fig.

(Insert Kliban cartoon here about Fig. 1 Fig.2 Fig.3)

I just ate some figs, which I purchased at Mother’s Market & Kitchen. They are fresh figs.

I noticed that my tongue was burning as I ate them. I’ve noticed this before! I wondered do I have a food sensitivity? That would be a first for me.

A search on the ‘Net reveals that figs may be related to rubber in some way and have latex on the skin. Several authorities said that either one should only eat figs that are so ripe they just fell off the tree on to your head, or bite into them so that the inside and not the skin hits your tongue first.

I just ate a small basket of rubber fruit, apparently.

You want a piece of my heart? You better start from the start.

The “check engine” light has gone on in my rental car. This has to be the worst error message in the history of modern consumer products. You just get a little glowing picture of an engine. Depending on the make of your car, it could mean anything from “your emissions control system is faulty” to “all the oil has just fallen out of the engine and you have 30 seconds to save it”. Quite often it goes on just for the hell of it, and the mechanic switches it off and smiles sadly and you give him $100.

On this particular car, I got out the manual and saw that it wasn’t oil, or temperature, or battery, since they all had their own indicators. It was in fact the emissions system. The most common cause is an insufficiently tight gas cap, but that was not it. So I have to call the rental company on Monday.

Error messages should be specific. Grarmpf.

I am feeling particularly old and left behind this week. I wish things hadn’t turned out this way and I hate shitty consolation prizes.

barstow boyz

Music at ~90 dB / wigs / porn magazines / Foreigner / tequila / hot chicks dancing up front / Queen / bro guys being assholes / Guns ‘n’ Roses / reggiT in his leathers / Judas Priest / Leah simulating sex with the singer / Nicolette looking bored at the door / The Power Station / an abortive 2 minute threat of the Doors’ “The End” that segued into Bon Jovi / Ears ringing ringing ringing

Orange county women look just fine shaking it to a heavy metal joke tribute band. Mmm, mm.

Orange county bro guys just look like red-faced assholes.

Orange county indie fucks just look precious.

I looked bald, fat, and old and I thought I was doing damned well in that crowd.

Hummus is God’s perfect food.

I met a nice woman tonight that Liam introduced me to with some story that seemed important but I could not hear a thing. I think she’s going to Built to Spill. We all need to learn sign language or just SMS to each other. I need to buy some ear plugs after 25 years of doing this to my ears.

Everyone likes Def Leppard; only some people admit it.

and exchange it some day for a Clown

I made cassoulet for dinner tonight. It’s a southern French dish which is basically white beans, garlic sausage, and some kind of fowl. You’re supposed to make it with confit d’oie which is preserved goose, but preserved goose is not readily available in Southern California so I just put in a couple of drumsticks. It was, in fact, a very bastardized cassoulet because I’m not French and not from Carcassone and I didn’t take two days to make it and the beans weren’t the exact type of beans they’d use and and and. Damn tasty though, especially with a little dry white wine with fines herbes and pepper and a leetle bit of the balsamic vinegar in it.

My back is still messed up. Times like these I wish I had some hard drugs like Vicodin around the house because I am a wimp about pain.

Andy pointed out the other night that there is talk of re-legalizing assault rifles in California so that we can once again blaze away with the mighty AR-15. Oddly enough, there is no talk of re-legalizing the good hair spray, because, you know, of the environment. And they’re still trying to crack down on backyard barbecues in Los Angeles, because, you know, of the environment. But maybe we’ll be able to bang off .223 rounds at 975 meters per second as fast as we can work the trigger! Just don’t expect your hair to stay up or the barbecue to taste any good.

You can’t even trust th’pruno any more

Via the ProMed list:

Riverside County briefly uses up antitoxin supply
————————————————-
Treating 5 inmates for botulism contracted from a prison-made alcoholic
concoction briefly wiped out the Southwest’s supply of antitoxin,
authorities said.

Inmates at Ironwood State Prison near Blythe, CA illicitly fermented the
brew known as pruno from bread crusts, fruit scraps and potato peels, said
Margot Bach, a spokeswoman for the California Department of Corrections.

An inmate complained of feeling ill on 30 Jun 2004 after drinking it at an
inmate birthday party, Ironwood prison Lt. Dale Dorman said. 4 other
inmates began to develop compatible symptoms and were also treated with the
antitoxin. One inmate remains hospitalized. One inmate given the antitoxin
subsequently tested negative for botulism. The cost of medical care for the
inmates was more than US$ 352 000, Dorman said.

Botulism is a food-borne, potentially lethal paralytic condition.
Nationally, 263 people contracted the illness between 1990 and 2000 and 11
died, the CDC said. A supply of antitoxin for the southwestern USA is kept
at US Public Health Service quarantine stations at 8 airports, including
Los Angeles International Airport (LAX).

The outbreak at Ironwood used up the regional antitoxin supply for a day,
Riverside County disease control chief Barbara Cole said.

The LAX station receives a half-dozen requests a month for the antitoxin
from as far away as Texas and Colorado. It typically keeps 10 or more doses
but only had 3 on hand to meet the Riverside County request, a duty officer
speaking on condition of anonymity told the Press-Enterprise of
Riverside. 2 more doses were supplied from San Francisco International
Airport.

Los Angeles received more doses the next day, the duty officer said.


ProMED-mail

******
[2]
Date: Thu, 5 Aug 2004
From: Douglas E. Beeman – The Press-Enterprise of Riverside
[edited]

Toxin drug runs short
———————-
Treating 5 inmates at Ironwood State Prison near Blythe temporarily wiped
out the botulism antitoxin supply for the southwestern USA. The inmates
contracted botulism from pruno, an illegal prison-made alcoholic drink,
said Barbara Cole, Riverside County’s disease control chief.

1 of the 5 prisoners given the antitoxin in late June 2004 later tested
negative for botulism, Cole said. One inmate remains hospitalized,
according to the California Department of Corrections. None has died.

Food-borne botulism is a rare but potentially lethal paralytic illness that
can rob its victims of their ability to breathe. Nationally, 263 people
contracted food-borne botulism between 1990 and 2000, according to the CDC.
11 died.

Cole said this is the largest food-borne botulism case she’s seen.

Illicit alcohol is a persistent problem in state prisons, but officials
said this is the first instance they can recall of botulism in prison
alcohol. Inmates fermented the pruno from bread crusts, fruit scraps and
potato peels, said California Department of Corrections spokeswoman Margot
Bach. [from the free dictionary online: pruno – a liquor concocted from a
mixture of ingredients (such as prunes and raisins and milk and sugar) that
can be fermented to produce alcohol; made by prison inmates
– Mod.MPP]

Prison officials first discovered the outbreak 30 Jun 2004 when an inmate
complained of feeling ill after drinking pruno at an inmate birthday party,
said Ironwood Prison Lt. Dale Dorman. Prison staff thought the man had food
poisoning and monitored him for several hours. But when the man grew
sicker, he was transferred to a hospital, Dorman said.

After guards alerted prisoners to the man’s plight, 3 more inmates from his
housing unit said they also were ill, Dorman said. The 5th inmate sought
care the next day. Dorman said the cost of medical care for the 5 has
exceeded $352,000, including helicopter transport for the sickest inmates.


Douglas E. Beeman The Press-Enterprise of Riverside

[The botulinum antitoxin, in uncontrolled studies, has been associated with
lower mortality rates and, if administered early after onset of symptoms, a
shorter course of illness. A licensed trivalent antitoxin (includes
antitoxin against A, B, and E only) is available. Contrary to the package
insert directions, current recommendations are to administer 1 10-mL vial
of antitoxin per patient, intravenously in a normal saline solution over 20
minutes. Antitoxin need not be repeated, since the circulating antibodies
have a half-life of 5 to 8 days.

The antitoxin is of equine origin and requires skin testing for
hypersensitivity before administration of the antitoxin. About 9-21 percent
of patients will develop either acute or delayed-type sensitivity
reactions. Serum sickness reactions appear to be dose-related and may be
less likely with the newer dosing recommendations. A human-derived
antitoxin for infant botulism is available from the California Health
Department.

This cluster demonstrates how easy it can be to overwhelm the surge
capacity for any illness when there is a large increase in cases, whether
related to acute care bed capacity, operating room availability, medication
availability, or mortuary space.- Mod.LL]

ten bucks on number 8, please

Supermarkets often play the kind of whiny sexual loser blather R&B that I just can’t stand. oooh baby baby if you could just see that i’m the one for you tonight oh yeah. As I try to figure out the unit pricing on a can of beans. What the fuck. They should just play casiotone music or Devo all the time.

My KONSUMER KWEST for space invaders shoes has sadly come to an end. They were produced in Japan for the 25th anniversary of the game and that’s it. They were apparently $100 or something crazy, too.

My libido and desire for feminine companionship is completely gone lately. This is really, really good news.

I’m up to 450 mg of LOLLBUTRIN and back down to 20 mg of SLAXIL. The SLAXIL should go down to 10 mg next month. I hope the fucking sweating goes away.

While listening to some corporate rock radio station in my rental car, I ran into the inane thing where DJs are forced to “work in” the sponsor as a conversational topic in their banter. So the poor jock has to get in some ad copy about the new Dodge Magnum and its 350 hp Hemi engine, or that great article that’s only available on AOL for Broadband, etc. Marketers are so neat that way. I was thinking that the next inevitable step is that ordinary citizens will be paid some fee like $20/month to mention products and services in their conversations with others, like the characters in TV commercials. “Well, Louise, I’m sorry to hear that your son didn’t get into college. You know, I was using Soft Scrub with Bleach on my sink today and I have to say it left things clean and fresh with just one wipe!” Of course they’d have to spotcheck at least to see that people were carrying out their obligation, so “secret shopper” conversationalists would have to occasionally bust people for not mentioning Fruit Rollups or Term Life Insurance from Mutual of Omaha in conversations.

If I could spend the rest of my life drunk I’d do it, without question.