..about the coverage of the gay NJ governor and his resignation is that he uses the word “consensual”, as if he had to make it clear that there wasn’t any Big Gay Rape Action going on in the governor’s mansion, or in order to admit that he consented to it, and it’s not clear which, and it’s not clear which anyone would think is worse.

“Yeah so I was sitting in my office minding my own business when this really really homosexual man came in and insisted that we have sex! I mean he was really INSISTENT!”

versus

“I admit it. Not only did I have the Wrong Sex, but I totally CONSENTED to it. It wasn’t a prison thing, or anything”.

Avast, me baconeers.

Bacon selection / Bacon t-shirt / Bacon air freshener / Bacon of the month club (one or two packages per month, June-September all delivered in June) / Bacon candles / Bacon soap

And if you don’t like bacon, how about some guns?

1. ”A group known as the League of Human Dignity helped arrange for Deuel to be driven to a local livestock scale, where he could be weighed.” Phew! Glad we preserved his Human Dignity!
2. While rescue crews came up with a back-door rescue plan, detectives secured the crime scene and questioned family members on how it got this bad.” Maybe it was the eating and not moving?

Bonus for the league themselves, with this fly graphic showing their phat moves.

Ad just seen for Farmer John bacon (a two for one)

“For those who like to wash down their bacon with more bacon.”

I was talking to Laura K. about philosophy humor (haw!) and I got a UCLA flashback.

A philosophy professor I had there had a cartoon on his door where one mechanic is saying to another “So if what you’re saying is valid, then a priori we must accept that a Mr. Evilwrench also exists.”

1. Satan’s Corner Office Shoes:

   

2. $78 Ugg boots for children.

   

3. Metatarsal protection boots with static dissipation and protection against 600 volts of open current for FIGHTING EVIL SPACE INSECTS ON YOUR DEATH STAR.

   

So there’s this guy, and he’s from a poor rural part of a poor country. And the country has been at war at lot over the years. He and all his friends are flat broke and constantly in danger, most likely. And then he comes to the U.S. and visits Los Angeles to work on a translation project, which I bet is pretty cool stuff.

Unfortunately he falls into the hands of a self-important digerati netizen bOING bOING person who uses him for the equivalent of a Junior High School photo essay and poses him in front of Versace in Beverly Hills for the big meaningful contrast. And of course she gets the quote from him about the Gucci mink-lined doggie carrier.

She also takes pains to mention the brand of her digital camera. And to use the word “skillz”. She does say that “there is a long story behind this image for another time”, but I bet you a dime she never gets to it.

I sure hope she bought him a nice lunch. Having to pose for the Photo Opportunity of Contrasts so that the local lady bountiful can feel in touch with your indigenous-people poverty-victim coolness must be a real pain in the ass.

I ordered shoes.

TPS Report cover sheet (PDF).

maciej: I think there is some passage in Ecclesiastes about taquitos
confound: pulling your taquitos out of a ditch on the sabbath
ignatz: Balaam and the taquitos
maciej: take the taco out of your own eye before pointing to the taquito in your brother’s eye
ignatz: Jonah and the Burrito Especial
maciej: three days inside the butterwhale
Zim: thou shalt have no other taquitos before me
Bufando: huevos nebuchadnezzaros
ignatz: And Jacob said “The Lord was in this place, and I knew it not, and He took my nachos.”
maciej: and behold, the angel opened the seventh seal, and there was some fresh guacamole
ignatz: consider the carnitas of the field. they toil not, they spin not, but solomon in all his glory couldn’t make a pork burrito that freakin good.
maciej: feast of the unleavened churros
ignatz: marking your door with salsa so the angel will pass over you