vignette from D’s last night

A young woman came out as I was having a short smoke on the patio and asked for a light. She was amused by my huge cigar match, which I got from the local fancy liquor store. Hey, she said, they stopped carrying my favorite wine! Her favorite wine is Chilean and she can only get it by the case now. She pointed to a fortyish man and an older Indian fellow inside and said: that’s my fiancé and my mother’s best friend. They’re planning out my future. I think I am going to maybe dump him.

She then proceeded to tell me all about her life: this fiancé, the previous one, their high status and money, their disregard for her, her own money, etc. Brand names and money figures all over the place. She was nervous, needy, twitchy.

“He’s unhappy because my ex boyfriend lives right around here, has a $3.2 million home.”

“Does he think you’ll cheat on him?”

“Maybe.”

“If you were just my girlfriend, I might be nervous about the ex. But fiancé? It shouldn’t be a question, even.”

“I’d never cheat on him. Well I did once but we were broken up at the time.”

Another 15 minutes of conversation, mostly consisting of her spitting out symbols of wealth and complaining about men. What she hadn’t done for him: plastic surgery, her hair colored just so by Jose Eber’s chief stylist. She didn’t like her nose; it was too Jewish she thought.

Eventually the fiancé and the older man came out and summoned her, and they all left.

She looked about 25, and maybe Persian. She had two names, one of which was Alexandria.

Things I learned from watching this weekend’s COPS marathon

  • Men without shirts beat women.
  • The T-Top Camaro always contains the drugs.
  • It only takes a few minutes to make a policewoman into a believable whore.
  • No one in the history of the world has ever had any idea how the drugs got into their car.
  • Do not “just be hangin out”. No good can come of it. The same is true for “being out ridin’ with my friends” and “kinda partyin a little”.
  • If you are going to be flat broke, do it in a blue state. Our nation’s hot, humid heartland, with its endless convenience store parking lots and lack of entertainment, will cause your poverty to sink rapidly into paint-huffing and domestic fisticuffs. August in Chattanooga is a terribly long month.
  • Athletic shoes without socks, logo t-shirts from cigarette brands, and hats provided by liquor distributors are warning signs.

After all of this I went to D’s for a bit and one of the “customers” of the mysterious suite upstairs arrived in a terrible rage. He was about 30 with a serious drug face that made him 50. He stormed upstairs and others saw him cutting something up with a knife and grabbing something with which he stormed out again after kicking a few things around. It was not at all cool; there were little kids around. O Bad Boys, O Bad Boys, wherefore are you gonna do?

The same four commercials over and over.

I would like a version of the Fear Factor TV show in which instead of being forced to do various scary but basically safe things to win, the contestants would be first frightened and then killed.

Also: I am not going to watch the smallpox show no matter many times you ask.

Also: I am not going to purchase the DVD of Anacondas.

Oh, and Dennis Miller? Shilling for NetZero is the punchline to your career. Please exit stage left.

P.S. Elektra looks like a huge heap of poo.

This is pure bigotry.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/orange/la-me-twodads2jan02,1,4298214,print.story?coll=la-editions-orange

Enrollment of Gays’ Sons Roils O.C. Catholic School
By Joel Rubin and William Lobdell
Times Staff Writers

January 2, 2005

In a clash that pits Catholic teachings against shifting values of American society, a group of parishioners and parents has accused Orange County church leaders of defying Pope John Paul II by allowing a gay couple to enroll their two boys in a diocese school.
what, are the kids going to give everyone the GAY?

what

there was a promo bumper on one of the channels i was watching for a tv movie feature film called “White Noise”, and at the end they said “for more information go to http://www.aaevp.com/

wtf electronic voice phenomena? is there a ghost in my machine? oh dear this looks dumb

correction: url fixed. thanks nefas!

mother shitter! son of ass!

Hello. I am currently at work watching the COPS New Year’s Marathon, brought to you by Smallpox an FX Channel Event.

I am at work because of a manager’s “comfort level”. “Comfort level” is modern business language for “I do not care about the actual situation or a rational response to it, but I wish to exert my authority and show that you are the less powerful primate.”

I am here because of the college football bowl games but I am not watching them. The only thing I like about college football is the 30 seconds of footage of cute cheerleaders, and I like that about 2 on a 10 scale.

Oh! And I like the part where some wretched shithole of a college like Miami of Ohio or Auburn shows their mini documentary on how actual academic programs exist there in which students wear glasses and are perhaps Asian.