Things I learned from watching this weekend’s COPS marathon

  • Men without shirts beat women.
  • The T-Top Camaro always contains the drugs.
  • It only takes a few minutes to make a policewoman into a believable whore.
  • No one in the history of the world has ever had any idea how the drugs got into their car.
  • Do not “just be hangin out”. No good can come of it. The same is true for “being out ridin’ with my friends” and “kinda partyin a little”.
  • If you are going to be flat broke, do it in a blue state. Our nation’s hot, humid heartland, with its endless convenience store parking lots and lack of entertainment, will cause your poverty to sink rapidly into paint-huffing and domestic fisticuffs. August in Chattanooga is a terribly long month.
  • Athletic shoes without socks, logo t-shirts from cigarette brands, and hats provided by liquor distributors are warning signs.

After all of this I went to D’s for a bit and one of the “customers” of the mysterious suite upstairs arrived in a terrible rage. He was about 30 with a serious drug face that made him 50. He stormed upstairs and others saw him cutting something up with a knife and grabbing something with which he stormed out again after kicking a few things around. It was not at all cool; there were little kids around. O Bad Boys, O Bad Boys, wherefore are you gonna do?

5 thoughts on “Things I learned from watching this weekend’s COPS marathon

  1. I had a disaster movie marathon on AMC.
    Airports 75 and 77, Towering Inferno, Earthquake, Volcano, and now, Blind Date (the show, not the Bruce Willis boozaholic laugh riot).
    Nerves frayed over here.

    1. I watched that too
      And you know someplace a Writer is working on “Tsunamai” to add to that lineup.
      I was Disappointed they didnt include the Original Airport as that one’s the best. The liitle kid in me that likes big trucks, likes the Opening Snow Removal Scene.

  2. Buuruu
    “If you are going to be flat broke, do it in a blue state.”
    That’s the truth. I’ve never seen bleak like the bleak I saw in northeast Oklahoma in June of … 2000?.
    Tulsa seemed, in theory, more hygienic than, say, Katmandu. But not from a mental health standpoint. It was like Clerks, but with meth and substandard construction.

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