Shouldn’t toast be instantaneous? There’s no slow simmery magic or magic roasting chemistry going on. The raw material is fully cooked. It’s just dry heat applied to sliced bread.
Why are all toasters not 0.2 sec flash toasters that throw beautiful perfect computer fuzzy logic adjusted toast back you as soon as you hit the button? What’s holding us back?
So You Want To Be A China Sex Blogger from Maciej Ceglowski tells the story of an expat Brit inin Shanghai whose blog contained the poorly chosen mix of swaggering colonial sex yarns, culturally insensitive jabs at his host country, and loud criticism of an authoritarian government.
It looks as though some combination of internet sleuthing, mob rage, and government is going to give him a pretty bad rebellion in his boxers soon.
Christ, what an asshole.
If you type “Chronic Cantina” into Google and hit “I”m feeling lucky” you get a man-boy: http://www.myspace.com/newportbeach
This man-boy likes PUNK!! music, and he likes Governor Arnold, and he likes executions, a lot. Let ’em fry! He owns a drug abuse theme restaurant.
The man-boy wants to start a war with China. He loves our President and says that Michael Moore should not criticize the man. The man-boy would like to meet open-minded girls.
The man-boy says: “If you are a fun person and like to have respectful fun no matter what the circumstances we will get along great. ”
The man-boy owns a business selling stripper poles. The man-boy is an attorney and a real estate investor. Often the man-boy is surrounded by sad skinny bikini girls and grinning ape-boys on boats, on beaches, in bars, in nightclubs.
The man-boy was born Keith Scheinberg and calls himself MAXIMILLIAN on myspace. But I have a secret to tell you; I know his real name. His real name is Marie Antoinette.
A darkened stage with a single chair. Enter ANSELMA, stage left, wearing a headset. ANSELMA sits facing the audience and the lights are brought up.
ANSELMA: Good afternoon, we’re having a great day here at Gurdjieff Ford, this is Anselma speaking, would you like to speak to our customer delight associates about 0% interest and 100% freedom on the all-new for 2007 Ford Extrusion, the truck for your active family today with exclusive cash-back offers in partnership with Mountain Dew Code Blue and River Deep Holiday Slough Resort and Vacation Homes, where floating is swimming and swimming is life?
I will transfer you to Service immediately, ma’am, and can I sign you up for our Preferred Gold Protection Discount Service Plan Extension Guarantee Peace of Mind Club Plus, put protection in your wallet today, it will be 30 seconds of your time?
Thank you for choosing Gurdjieff Ford, a Klimt and Gysin dealer, for your automotive needs and more today we understand you have a choice and appreciate your business! My associate number is 37-228-19-27B/6 and as part of our customer outreach enhancement drive for total satisfaction I will now transfer you to an optional survey so if you have 15 seconds to spare to help us help you live life like it was ice cream you will be automatically entered in a drawing to win dinner for two at the Lipid’s A Lunchery!
The stage is plunged into darkness.
[a single shot is heard]
My greatsomething grandfather Jacob arrived in the American colonies from Darmstadt-Hesse, Germany in about 1750 as an indentured servant. His brother Sebastian apparently bugged out and headed home at the end of his service, but Jacob liked it enough to stay in “Pennsylvanian Dutch” country with the other Germans. My family has had a presence in Lancaster County since, and in Ohio.
Family legend was that Jacob served in the Revolutionary War. My brother confirmed this a few years ago doing genealogy. I decided to take it a step further and contacted the National Archives’ Military Records Department. If you’re the relative of a U.S. veteran you can get anything they have, as far back as they have it, at a reasonable price. So, for $17 I requested and got Jacob’s records: the index card in his file and two pay stubs indicating his service and what he got for it. It looks like the pay was a bit late, but he got interest on it. There may have been a land donation, too. And of course, citizenship, since that’s not an issue when you’re on the startup team. Scans are below the cut, or in this flickr set.
It’s Kibo Week here at the substitute building. Today’s guest is a social worker I mocked in May for ripping the lid off the world of abbreviations that threaten your children. No rebuttal or argument, though. Instead she chose to take my headline literally and demanded to know if this was a death threat.
I understand that not everyone understands or enjoys satirical humor or comical overstatement or sarcasm. But it’s hard to see how someone could be a successful social worker with that literal a worldview.
1. That was the wrong candleholder.
2. Hot wax all over my arm barely hurt at all!
I’m all lemony fresh now.
I remain on the far side of crazy
I remain a mortal enemy of man
No hundred dollar cure will save me…
Be My Blog 