The Masque of the Red Death, 2006

If you type “Chronic Cantina” into Google and hit “I”m feeling lucky” you get a man-boy: http://www.myspace.com/newportbeach

This man-boy likes PUNK!! music, and he likes Governor Arnold, and he likes executions, a lot. Let ’em fry! He owns a drug abuse theme restaurant.

The man-boy wants to start a war with China. He loves our President and says that Michael Moore should not criticize the man. The man-boy would like to meet open-minded girls.

The man-boy says: “If you are a fun person and like to have respectful fun no matter what the circumstances we will get along great. ”

The man-boy owns a business selling stripper poles. The man-boy is an attorney and a real estate investor. Often the man-boy is surrounded by sad skinny bikini girls and grinning ape-boys on boats, on beaches, in bars, in nightclubs.

The man-boy was born Keith Scheinberg and calls himself MAXIMILLIAN on myspace. But I have a secret to tell you; I know his real name. His real name is Marie Antoinette.

36 thoughts on “The Masque of the Red Death, 2006

  1. see, to me… the best part is that i went to school with him. and he asked me to be his friend awhile back, and i was able to shriek in fear and click “deny” while utterly horrified.

    1. oh and the fact that he wants to meet a “spontaneous/intellectual…!”
      that’s just priceless.
      as is the fact that at least 2 of those bimbos in bikinis were my very best friends in elementary school.

    2. I wonder if he would consider it “partying” if you nutkicked him
      I figured you’d know the guy, considering his age and high school etc. In fact one of my first thoughts was “Poor Nico, what a generation of vipers to get stuck with.’

      1. Re: I wonder if he would consider it “partying” if you nutkicked him
        i know some of his friends.

  2. oh god, i am laughing so hard right now at his blog posts and the following comments. there are a bunch of bimbos who write things like “AMEN!” heh, and then every once in awile someone with half a brain will write, “ya’ll are idiots” — hilarious. one of these same bimbo girls is friends with a guy that i met recently, and she left probably 3 or 4 comments on his page that say, “you’re an angle” and “i think you’re the oc angle” and “look, he has the face of an angle.” whenever i’m feeling low, all i have to do is look at that page and think about his face being an angle. hehe.

    1. One time I got a cat from a little boy, right around Xmas time. Since it was Xmas time, he wanted me to name the white cat “Angle.” I think it’s okay for 7 year olds to spell angel incorrectly, but not grown women.

  3. I can only assume…
    … that the dog sitting at the computer saying “Christ, what an asshole!” in your subsequent posting, was also looking at this pathetic loser’s myspace site.
    This guy really is everything I left “The OC” to get away from; just another feeble sollopsitic jerk-off trying to sell me on the qewl-full-ness of a grabassitic Republican hedonism-fest where genetically modified, encephalicaly challenged bikini chicks and equally intellettually-challneged ripped, six-packed young rich guys (who oddly enough look fit enough for combat in Iraq, to me…) build their little insubstantial kingdom of self-importance and contemptible sense of superiority.
    It is the eternal Newport Beach ethic of “sure, you can watch us all day, but you can’t play; back to work Lupé, those kids won’t bathe themselves…”
    In the immortal words of Bill Hicks: “Hey… I think I figured out how the riots happened…”
    wow… sorry, not sure what got into me just there…
    mojo sends

    1. Re: I can only assume…
      Speaking of which, <a href=
      “http://amazon.com/gp/product/B000EXDS7K”>the season 3 of that just came out on DVD!

  4. Jealousy is a bitch!
    First of all you all especially the person who wrote this article really need to get a life, better yet focus more on your own than someone elses. You are tearing a young, successful and intelligent business owner to shreads because you don’t have nor have you earned what he has. Your own insecurites cause you to talk shit about someone you don’t even know. Turns out your the ass who took the time to analize what you think is his lifestyle and start a forum. Are you serious? Actually he is one of the most humble people I have ever met. Better yet, his newest success Chronic Cantina is the new hot spot and I bet you have been there and had a good time ;)So try getting to know him before judging…you might learn a thing or two!

  5. SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY’S JEALOUS!!
    It’s only obvious that you are just one of many, MANY forgettable girls who have been quickly turned on and turned out by my friend Mr. Scheinberg here…which im sure was quickly followed by a “What was your name?” type of moment! LOL Ahh…So many broken hearts…So little time to care.
    Oh, but what do I know? Well as someone who got down and did The Butt Naked Booty Scoot with him as well as help him run one of his first companies while he finished law school at Chapman 7 years ago…I think I’m a little more than qualified. Did I mention he is hands down my favorite boss and manager to date? (And I mean from a professional position not a sexual one…although that too was quite impressive!) *
    🙂
    I’m definitely qualified enough to tell you that if you are so ignorant and immature as to not respect the fact that Keith Scheinberg is one of the youngest and most successful MEN in Orange County -not to mention extremely good looking & good in bed- then I would suggest doing us all a favor and keep your lips and legs the same way – closed!
    Peace! (Shout out to MAX- love ya!)

      1. Re: SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY'S JEALOUS!!
        I’m not quite sure about his taste in music… but I AM pretty sure that no matter what it is, it isn’t qualified as a flaw or to what importance that matter would be in retrospect to his success….

      2. Re: SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY'S JEALOUS!!
        Whatever you say, Keith. You must be successful if you don’t have anything better to do than google yourself and sockpuppet imaginary girlfriends.

    1. Re: SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY’S JEALOUS!!
      Surprised you have so many words for some ho that has her bosses cock rammed so effectively down her throat! Will you fetch me another margarita please sweetie, no salt. Tim says hi.

  6. “one of the youngest and most successful MEN”
    Success certainly is a relative term isn’t it. I think it’s only in places rife with ‘new money’ such as Newport, that success can be seen as a derivative of.. well, ‘new money’
    I don’t mean this in a derogatory way, we are all free to choose what success means for ourselves. I’m simply suggesting that before people go whoring out respect to those who are ‘successful’ we might want to take a look at what success means to the individual receiving said respect.
    I’m sure we can all agree (I’m assuming here that you have the capacity to place a respectable value on things other than a dude who rocked you in bed, and is extremely good looking, although a good roll in the rack with a hot piece of ass is nothing to shake a stick at) that those who have sacrificed their well being for a better human condition without a penny in the bank to show for it(e.g. Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Buddha, Christ, Susanne Sommers) are more deserving of respect than someone who graduated from Chapman and opened up a taco restaurant (again, not derogatory, just an honest comparison)
    So what then do we do, if us lower peons that must give respect to Mr. Scheinberg do not view success in the same way that you do? It seems we are at an impasse. Can we go ahead and agree to disagree without the need to tear each other down? Is that even a possibility in the greater Newport area?
    Where exactly is batman when you need answers to such trying moral quandaries?

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