Author: substitute

nope

I am a consumer whore.

Today I went to the Mall and bought something from each of the three floors:
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  • 3rd floor, Sport Chalet, pair of black Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars ($34.99).
  • 2nd floor, Borders Books & Music, Tomahawk’s Mit Gas ($16).
  • 1st Floor, Tinderbox, Arturo Fuente Hemingway Short Story cigars. ($7 x 4 = $28).

    I haven’t had a pair of Converse shoes in years. I feel relaxed in them.

    The Mall, like all other Malls, has a “Yankee Candles” store in it. Do that many people buy expensive scented candles so that there can be one in each mall? Or is this a waxy Enron on the way, a mess of cooked books and cinnamon-cashew scented wax?

    • PAN

    I have a new pan. It’s already proven its use with an eggplant/tomato/pepper sautée. It’s big. It goes in the oven up to 450 degrees. It has a nice lid. It’s nonstick. IT IS MY NEW FRIEND.

    My pan, adore it!

    It’s your window to weight gain!

    According to my physician, I am at risk for, or may already be in, insulin resistance syndrome. It’s now called “metabolic syndrome” which seems insufficiently precise to me. But he makes a convincing case.

    Therefore, the best thing I can do for myself is to get to my target weight of 200 lbs in one year. This will be ~50 lbs, or 1 lb per week.

    I repeat, I have to lose 50 pounds in one year.

    Aiiigh.

    I’m already eating a much better diet than I was a year ago. This is why I weigh ~250 rather than 275, which is where I started on this journey. However I suck at the exercise. There is an exercise machine in the house that my mom used before that I can make use of, so I shall. I sweat like a freaking PIG when I exercise and hate to do this in front of strangers so the health club is a big washout. Paxil is great for making the depression go away but it makes me into a kind of perspiratory fountain apparatus.

    And walking is to smile. It burns like 1 calorie per 1000 miles. Anyone else tells me to try walking, I’m splattering lipids all over them from my bulging midriff.

    It surprises me that I am overweight. I was always a skinny kid. Stupid depression, stupid depression meds. Blurg.