Sending the boy up in a crate like that

Hey maineiac_eric, remember the helicopters you used to service? Long ago, before I met you, when you were a Marine? Most of them are something like 40 years old but they’re in service in Iraq.

I remember your stories about being awash in seawater and floating floorboards fixing the avionics on them, or something close to that. Perhaps our secret weapon against turbanism is helicopters that shed huge chunks of metal kinda randomly.

Incomprehensible reply to fraud report

I get that daily monster.com update for jobs that match my keywords. Not because I’m actively looking for a job, but because I want to know what’s going on my field. Usually it’s a stream of boring but totally doable gigs which makes me feel more secure. Occasionally it’s amusing or alarming. And, far too often, there are things that aren’t jobs but are instead trolls of some advertising for-pay job services.

These are almost always labeled something like “Work from home for major companies” and have every single location as their “home”, and some other obvious giveaways. A couple of years ago they were constant, and I gave up flagging them because I figured Monster was just selling those slots because the job market was slow.

Today I saw one, clicked through to look at it, and saw the usual website ad troll rather than a real job. This time I reported it as fraudulent through Monster’s own system, which is hard to find at first. I received the reply you see below. The last paragraph makes no sense at all and I would appreciate translation.

Content Title
Report site abuse

Discussion Thread
Response (Anisa P Varghese) 07/05/2006 05:40 AM
Hello substitute,

Thank you for contacting Monster Customer Central.

substitute, there are regulations and terms of use that must be met in order to post on the website. There is also screening for all postings listed on the website. Although this is true it is possible for a small amount of fraudulent postings to appear on the site. We have a department dedicated to locating, tracking, removing, and prosecuting when these issues do arrive. If you notice any specific fraudulent listings on the website please forward information in regards to those listings to this Email address or to “siteabuse@monster.com” (this will send directly to our Fraud prevention team). We will immediatly research and remove postings that are fraudulently posted on our site.

I would like to inform you that in some job posting when we click on the apply online button it takes us to the website of the company that posted the job. In such cases we need to set up an account in that web site for entering into the site to post for the job. The case you are referring to is also a similar one. I suggest you to create an account in the webpage you get and move forward and post for the job.

If there is anything else I can assist you with, please advise.

Have a good day, substitute !

Warm Regards,
Anisa Varghese
Monster Customer Central.

A Scanner Dorkly

Another visit to the psychiatrist means another load of Drug Ad Scans. Two of these are actually not from a drug ad, but from an osteopathic college’s fundraiser magazine. The other two are the standard brochureware. Below we’ll learn why misshapen closeted animal trainers are humanitarian, why Bob shouldn’t use the nail gun for a while, and the relationship between bipolar disease and endless green rolling hills.

Siegfried, Roy, and a construction guy with issues

Are you playing a GAME with me, sir?

In the course of digging up Bree’s court files I found all kinds of weird crap, including a lawsuit where the defendant was a painting and other delights. The one that really got me, though, was the Order Denying MAAF’s motion to preclude the French phrase “Quel jeu doit-on jouer vis-a-vis des autorités de Californie?” as used in Mr. Simonet’s notes from being translated as “What game must we play with the California authorities?”

The whole thing, which is only five pages and a delight ,is here on my server in .PDF form.

This judge has entirely too much fun.

Kimchi… in… SPAAAAAAACE

While the Malaysians struggle with the issues of Islamic prayer in orbit, the Koreans have a more serious issue: how do we take our national comfort food with us?

Kimchi – the Final Frontier

April 2008 will see the first kimchi in space when Korea’s first astronaut journeys to the final frontier. With the help of cutting-edge technology, the national delicacy acclaimed for its taste as much as its healthful properties will become “space food.”

Space kimchi is being developed jointly by a team in the Korea Atomic Energy Research Institute led by Dr. Byun Myung-woo and domestic food maker CJ. It looks much the same as the kimchi Koreans eat every day. Those who have tried it say it has zest and makes them feel much the same as the terrestrial variety, while the color is also similar. But a look through the microscope reveals the difference in the micro-organisms that help ferment the vegetables. The U.S. and Russia put top priority on safety when they approve space food, all of which is thoroughly sterilized. If living micro-organisms were to mutate into killer germs in space, the reasoning goes, there would be no way to prevent them from wreaking havoc among the astronauts.

Heating food kills the micro-organisms, but in the case of kimchi, that would produce kimchi stew. To address the problem, KAERI used cobalt-60 gamma rays, which attack and disconnect DNA or enzymes of bacteria and thus prevent them from multiplying. Radiation has been used for various space foods since it was first used to sterilize the ham that went up in Apollo 17 in 1972.

In zero gravity, the air does not move and astronauts cannot smell, so their sense of taste, too, is dramatically reduced. Space kimchi is expected to be of great help in stimulating astronauts’ appetite with its zest and spices. In addition, it is effective in promoting the intestinal functions, which tend to be somewhat sluggish in space, with abundant fiber.

After being irradiated, the kimchi is deprived of all the gas, but the possibility remains that the juice will squirt out when it is opened just as soda does in a low-pressure environment. There would be kimchi juice all over the ship. For that reason, CJ has developed special packaging for space kimchi.

KAERI concluded an agreement with the NASA Food Technology Commercial Space Center to develop space food last year. The institute is to sign another agreement with the Institute of Biomedical Problems (IBMP) of Russia this August to conduct safety tests for space kimchi. If kimchi successfully goes into space in 2008, there is a good chance it will remain on the outer-space menu for U.S. and Russian astronauts, and before you know it, Korea’s national dish will have conquered a new dimension.

(englishnews@chosun.com)

url: http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200605/200605120007.html

I’m a PEOPLE PERSON!

Closing arguments in Fresno workplace spanking case
By JULIANA BARBASSA, Associated Press Writer
Wednesday, April 26, 2006

(04-26) 17:07 PDT Fresno, Calif. (AP) —

A saleswoman who was spanked in front of her co-workers as part of what her employer said was a camaraderie-building exercise sat quietly in a courtroom Wednesday as lawyers gave closing arguments at her civil trial.

Continue reading “I’m a PEOPLE PERSON!”

News articles we didn’t really need to finish

VENTURA, Calif. (AP) — A new study shows that a release of liquefied natural gas from one of four proposed terminals off the Southern California coast could spread a fireball over several miles, but pose no threat on land because the facility would be more than a dozen miles offshore…

TOTALLY SAFE SIX MILE WIDE CLOUD OF FIERY DEATH HERE, FOLKS.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2006/04/18/state/n012001D47.DTL