Complaint (trivial)

Attention to the following groups of people:

  • Bar owners
  • Movie screencap posters
  • Homeowners with new large televisions
  • Video website owners
  • Video uploaders to said sites
  • Home video enthusiasts

WILL YOU LEARN WHAT AN ASPECT RATIO IS ALREADY

I mean if you want to spend four figures on a piece of equipment and misuse it it’s your deal but I have to look at this one. Stretching everything so it reaches the edge of the screen is not the same as making it look good. And why the fuck would you want to post a screencap online of your favorite movie with everyone looking like they’re in a God-damned funhouse?

DO YOU EVEN HAVE EYEBALLS IN YOUR SKULL THAT FUNCTION AS EYES

Okay whew. None of this is important. But somehow lately the unimportant things are the easiest ones to yell about.

Videodrome Loves You

I remember when these dumb TV screens showed up at Diedrich Coffee and a couple of other places, and they had a crawl with news and some ads on them and not too much else, and clearly it was held together with house ads and fear, and soon, we knew, it would be gone. Because who would put something like that in a coffeehouse?

Or… a bookstore…

tv in a bookstore

Obviously these must be placed in libraries, houses of worship, operating rooms, aircraft cockpits, day care centers, campgrounds, and cemeteries as soon as possible.

Hello mudda, hello fadda

CBS Was Warned on “Kid Nation,” Documents Show

Pullquotes:

Four children received medical treatment for accidentally drinking bleach, one child was burned on her face with hot grease while cooking in an unsupervised kitchen, and most of the children were required to work 14 hours or longer per day.

CBS officials had used the “camp” designation to characterize the reality show in discussions with parents.

CBS contended the children were not employees because they were not performing specific work for specific wages.

Bonus points: The Attorney General investigating the event is named “Buzzard.”

I think they intended to recreate Lord of the Flies but the effect was more Kamp Krusty. For this kind of bad publicity they should have at least got one or two pig heads on a stick, if not a full Battle Royale.

I suggest SURVIVOR: EXPOSED! in which infants will be left on mountaintops. As the show progresses, we find out which ones survive, raised by wolves, and return to the city to wreak a terrible vengeance.

RETRACTION: re pink pistol menace

The security “expert” who ran amok on the O’Reilly show about lesbian gangs forcing children into the “homosexual lifestyle” was forced to issue a retraction on his site, which is called rod007.com and sounds like a gay porn flick. His response manages to retain the crazy (lesbian gangs? what the…) but weasels out of the extreme crazy. He also of course links to a nutcase racist hate mail he received in order to show how unpleasant his enemies are and of course reveals the guy’s email address so everyone can dogpile on him. Smooth. The text is here since he will no doubt remove it from his site as soon as he can:

Contact Rod Wheeler: Info@Rod007.com

Clarification and apology:

First of all, let me thank you for your feedback surrounding the O’Reilly Factor discussion on Lesbian Gangs. I received several e-mails from viewers, some positive and some negative, offering comments and constructive criticisms. Some of the e-mails I received were threatening and simply hostile. Click here for a sample e-mail I received from one viewer.

During the O‚ÄôReilly Factor segment on June 21st, while engaged in a discussion on Lesbian gangs, I inadvertently stated that gang members carry pistols that are painted pink and call themselves the “Pink Pistol Packing Group.” I was not referring to the gay rights group “Pink Pistols” who advocates for the lawful rights of gays to carry weapons for protection. Further, I mentioned that there are “over 150 of these gangs” in the greater Washington DC area. What I actually meant is that there are over 150 gangs in the Washington DC area, some of which are in fact lesbian gangs. Lastly, I mentioned in the segment that there is this “national epidemic” of lesbian gangs. A better choice of words would have been to say that there is a growing concern nationally, and especially in major urban areas, of increased gang activity, which includes some lesbian gang activity.

I apologize for any misunderstanding this may have caused.

Sincerely,

Rod Wheeler

The IM is coming from inside the house

I didn’t go to klikitak‘s thing tonight, partly because I am a social anxiety poster child lately and partly because I didn’t want to get extruded through my own car by drunk people going to L.A. and back. Instead I ended up at realitylost‘s where she and Craig stuffed me with really great food and their dogs sat on me. One of the many reasons to like Craig is that he is serious about food. O garlic bread, O cobbler.

I meant to go over and hang with burntcurtis for a few later but a quick trip across the boulevard revealed that his entire neighborhood had been parked upon by partiers. Tonight is official Adult Halloween Party Night, and everyone was getting smashed, with pumpkins. A couple of his neighbors were incompetently necking in the condo complex and I nearly ran them down. She was wearing a slutty noun costume and he was in a rapist costume (pirate, soldier, Haidl, dunno). He was trying to paw her while simultaneously bracing a 24 pack of beer on his hip and she was trying to do the coy push-away-only-not but instead stumbling in front of my car. Two cheers for Halloween; it’s now Daterapemas!

Part of the time at Susie & Craig’s tonight the TV was on. I hadn’t seen the History Channel in a long time. Wow is it dumb! The supposed academic guy referred to the “Cape of Africa” (?) and they spelled Gibraltar wrong, and the show about the history of dragons spent a full segment talking to a couple of lunatics who believed that dragons existed and waved broadswords while saying they were druids.

One of their neighbors has a license plate holder that says “Foamer Forever.” Anyone know what that means?