Complaint (trivial)

Attention to the following groups of people:

  • Bar owners
  • Movie screencap posters
  • Homeowners with new large televisions
  • Video website owners
  • Video uploaders to said sites
  • Home video enthusiasts

WILL YOU LEARN WHAT AN ASPECT RATIO IS ALREADY

I mean if you want to spend four figures on a piece of equipment and misuse it it’s your deal but I have to look at this one. Stretching everything so it reaches the edge of the screen is not the same as making it look good. And why the fuck would you want to post a screencap online of your favorite movie with everyone looking like they’re in a God-damned funhouse?

DO YOU EVEN HAVE EYEBALLS IN YOUR SKULL THAT FUNCTION AS EYES

Okay whew. None of this is important. But somehow lately the unimportant things are the easiest ones to yell about.

12 thoughts on “Complaint (trivial)

  1. I’m going to add a note to makers of widescreen DVDs, TVs, and DVD players:
    Could we have an option to expand the image, preserving the aspect ratio, such that all the image is in the screen area but at least two edges of the image are at the edge of the screen? And after we get that, could we get the subtitles to be in the image area too?
    I have watched altogether too many movies lately in a little letterbox in my big letterbox so that I could see the “cleverly” placed subtitles.

      1. tonight is “i hate everyone night” in case you missed the memo
        yeah but even “not, like, rocket science” is waaaaayyyyy above the functioning level of most semi-sentient human beings, and the vast majority of the population is not even close to semi-sentient.
        so.

  2. Maybe they are traveling at relativistic speeds due to acceleration, or perhaps have been granted non-euclidean eyesight from their dark cthonic gods.

  3. That seems pretty important to me.
    Though I’ve been tearing out my eyes a little at a time as I read G1 h4x0r1n9 fora on the Interwebs where lots of (I hope) teenagers are all “so I need to get root so I can make my phone awesome.”
    I need to get root so I can stretch to fit so I’m not wasting space also I wonder if those guys are the ones who buy FULL SCREEN movies.

  4. i once helped a teacher at my mom’s school who had set her screen resolution to a bizarrely stretched ratio in order to make her desktop image fit to cover the whole desktop. she wanted me to do something else (make a podcast of some recordings for her class blog [!]) but i also fixed it.

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