Irvine is a land of contrasts.

Under its combed lawns, Irvine holds down a mad carnival of Bosch, Max Ernst, Seraphinianus. Pressure makes it leak.

The teeth of Geraldo.

CELEBRITY TEETH! From a waiting room at a large dental laboratory. They have a showcase of these. Many.

 

this path does not workThis phenomenon is all too common in Irvine. Why? Why is there a careful path to nothing? WHY, IRVINE?

 

 

Happy October, California!

We had high winds all day gusting to 60 mph. Along with the fires up in Malibu and out in Fontana, we got one of our own between Santiago Canyon and Irvine.

It’s almost 9:30 pm and the temp is 76F, wind is in the 30 mph range, and there’s a choking stench of smoke. The fire is spreading at least right now.

Of course the fire started at the edge of populated Orange County, where Foothill Ranch meets the real canyon country. Once again they put a suburb right at the mouth of the bellows where the fire will always blow hottest.

I’m lucky to be living where we just get the stench. Dad picked the house well.

This is the fourth or fifth time in my life that I’ve seen a suburban shopping mall parking lot full of tumbleweeds.

skate and/or destroy

As I was entering the hardware store yesterday there were some 12ish-year-old boys outside loitering. They looked at me and I said “Hey what’s up” and a couple of them said “Hey” and then I went into the store.

One of them called out “Hey…” to me and I turned around. The kid asked “Did you used to skate?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“I thought so,” he said knowingly, “because of your style.”

I grinned and and they grinned back and I went into the store.

I guess he was right. I was wearing Vans classics, jeans, a t-shirt, checked pendleton overshirt, and a tiny stingy brim straw hat.

Kreiss, what an asshole

WITH his vintage blue-and-red rep tie, carefully tousled hair and old metal lapel pin reading “I {heart} Grandpa,” Loren Kreiss looks like a typical style-conscious 24-year-old. He collects cool things, like 2,194 “friends” on myspace.com, an antique Coke machine and 15,000 songs on his hard drive. His vintage wristwatch is a fashion accessory, not a tool.

“My watch and all my clocks are set to the wrong time,” Mr. Kreiss said recently. “It’s symbolic of me. I don’t like to look at time.”

But as the scion of Kreiss, his family’s California-based furniture business, Mr. Kreiss (pronounced to rhyme with nice) sometimes has to work at being an iconoclast. He can barely contain his contradictions. For instance, his three-times-a-week maid often resets the clocks correctly, forcing Mr. Kreiss to reset them quirky again. (To avoid missing appointments, he consults his ever-present BlackBerry.)

The rest of the article is here at the NY Times.

But wait, no, I need to paste another quote: Mr. Kreiss writes his graphic novels on his BlackBerry while working out on an elliptical trainer at the gym.

Wait wait, no, here’s another: He hung out with bands like Blink-182 during the height of San Diego’s neo-punk scene, sang in a band and produced three records on his indie Lurid label.

Okay I have to go punch a yuppie now. Brb.

LIFE IN THESE HERE NOW UNITED STATES

Suspicious lamp prompts evacuation
A Huntington Beach homeowner saw the object in a garage.

By RYAN HAMMILL
The Orange County Register

HUNTINGTON BEACH — A report of a suspicious lamp in a garage led to a neighborhood evacaution today before the Orange County sheriff’s bomb squad determined that the object was harmless.

A Mangrum Drive homeowner called Huntinton Beach police about 3 p.m. after seeing wires protruding from the base and an unfamiliar light bulb, Sgt. Dave Bunetta said.

Police officers visually inspected the lamp before calling the bomb squad and the Huntington Beach Fire Department’s hazardous material unit, Bunetta said.

Residents within 300 feet of the house were evacuated for about 3½ hours during the investigation.

The house is next door to a home day care, which also was evacuated, and two blocks from Marina High School.