The Vice President Meets a Key Constituency: Eyeless Zombie Grandmas

aiiigh

I for one welcome our new explosively burrowing bunker buster smart bomb overlords.

Deep digger falls out of the sky, sticks in the ground, and then uses a cannon to chew through concrete before it explodes. It can grind through at least 10 meters of concrete while reporting its progress and coordinating with other burrow bombs to meet and greet and blow up.

I think it’s behind me right now.

Homeland security for kids

http://www.ready.gov/kids/

Our attention was strayed. While we were pursuing disorganized and almost harmless Islamist terror cells around the world, the furries were quietly infiltrating the most secret and sensitive offices in the government. We have moles. Also cougars, wolves, skunks, and a shitload of foxes.

Deep beneath the Blue Bayou restaurant in Disneyland, a brain in a jar is being lowered into an immensely powerful biomechanical cyborg Mickey Mouse character. The day of reckoning is near when He will lift up His glove-like hand and the Yiffening will begin.

HOW WERE WE SO BLIND?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MONTRESOR

I think I saw this movie when I was a kid and had nightmares:

in a fucking BOX

Even partial morselization would require an injury report

Thanks to zebulon_y, today’s phrase is:

“total morselization of body due to being pulled by a gloved hand into a commercial wood chipper.”

Man Killed In Wood Chipper Identified

Today’s phrase is “zero hour model mugging”

padded adversary

John Carpenter’s The Motor Vehicle Accident Insurance Report

Wow, that was some scary fog coming home. It’s a pantsfilling experience driving when things keep looming out of the blurk. I couldn’t see more than 100 feet. Fortunately everyone else on sleepy old Orange Avenue was driving slow too.

the_silent_one I hope you got home okay; I was worried about you!