Literature in these here now United States

sandpooper
ABOUT THIS BOOK

Christy Castleman, a pretty, young novelist, has made a name for herself writing books about mystery and intrigue. The Sassy Snowbirds, a group of lively ladies, spread fun, friendship, and good deeds around the seaside town of Summer Breeze. Everyone is content in their cozy world–until a message is found in a small Victorian glass bottle half buried in the sand.

“Call the police. Someone is trying to kill me.”

Believing the note to have been written by a missing realtor, the Sassy Snowbirds jump into the mystery with Christy. Using her research and know-how as a novelist, the young woman and her unflappable friends succeed where a team of forensic experts stall. But solving real life crimes is much more dangerous than writing them, and Christy must fight for her life when she uncovers a shocking truth and a real murderer.

A contemporary Southern cozy mystery with a touch of romance, When the Sandpiper Calls is a fast-paced and inspirational look at life choices, consequences, second chances, and deepening faith.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Peggy Darty has published 26 novels, numerous articles and short stories. An award-winning author, her novels, A Mountain to Stand Strong and Angel Valley, were CBA best-sellers, along with numerous novellas. She has worked in film, researched for CBS and has been a popular speaker and workshop leader around the country. She and her husband spend their summers in Colorado and winters in Alabama.

Solid ivory shift knob made from the bones of the dead from Iraq also available

diamond encrusted wheels

Get your diamond-encrusted auto wheels! Or don’t. Best quote:

Last year we were the first company to offer cubic zirconia-encrusted wheels for $250,000,” said Cynthia White, Asanti’s sales manager. She stood protectively by the glass-encased wheel on display at the SEMA show while a continuous stream of industry observers snapped photos and marveled at the glittery 1,100-carat creation handset by jeweler IceLink. “This year, no other company offers real diamonds in their wheels, except us…”

The part of “psychotic First Lady” is to be played by Piper Laurie

zombie lizard queen

Possible explanations for this photo include:

  1. David Icke is right. Both the English Royal Family and the U.S. leadership are actually evil space lizards, or “reptoids”. In this shot Laura Bush has just seen Icke across the room and is uncontrollably morphing into her true reptilian self.
  2. Prince Charles, on a desperate Bond-like mission to save the world from the Bush administration, has his Walther PPK in the small of the First Lady’s back as he tries to force the President to resign. This is a doomed effort because the President doesn’t give a shit about his wife or anyone else.
  3. It has now been proven that if you give Camilla Parker-Bowles an injection of curare directly into her spine she turns into Laura Bush.
  4. Condi Rice is across the room and she and the First Lady are having an “evil face” contest.
  5. Cocaine.
  6. As Mrs. Bush explains to Charles that they’ll be snacking on babies later with Karl Rove, he desperately tries to catch the eye of his assistant to get him the fuck out of there to somewhere he can drink this whole fucking visit out of his head.

Add yours as you please!

Mahalia Jackson, he’s not.

Music for Maniacs is a fine mp3blog for aficionados of outsider music and other oddities. Today’s post revealed one of the main problems “New Religions” or “Cults” have; their gospel music blows chunks.

Submitted for your consideration, L. Ron Hubbard’s music from 1980 for Battlefield Earth. Both of those tracks were intended as “soundtracks” to the novel.

One can easily picture the great man bent over his synthesizer, getting the evil laughter, boop-beep sounds, and ominously cheesy organ sounds just right.

ROKKEN WITH DOKKEN AND SUKKEN KOKKEN

So there’s this horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible band that plays D’s. They’re called the “Over-Reactors” and it’s a duo. They manage to hit the wrong notes and emphasis in each song, almost all of which are covers except an original they always do which is titled “One Sick Pony”.

They do things like cover the Cowboy Junkies’ cover of “Sweet Jane” and then somehow fuck up. Ooh boy, he’s fucking up the Foo Fighters now. Anyway, he’s here tonight solo.

The weird part is their band website reveals that he’s now in Dokken. What? Dokken exists? They played Guitar Center? Acoustic? WITH THIS GUY IN THE BAND? It must have been something straight out of This Is Spinal Tap.