THEY KILL FOR LULZ

Once again my local FOX affiliate takes on the big issues. In this case, the shadowy, malevolent hacker underground group that will do anything for LULZ: spoilers, gay porn, myspace hacking, and blowing up the same car over and over. Phil Shuman, you’ve once again raised the bar for satire.

┬┐Quien es mas macho: happy, o screamo?

And this just in via myspace:

hi guys, im not speak english very well, but a like your music, please give you track. bye

Hey!!!!!! Te gusta el rock punk, emo, screamo, happy punk y el pop punk en espanol y en ingles, y ademas te laten las nuevas propuestas y los grupos ya consolidados. Si estas cansado de que pasen puro pinche daddy caca y caca Omar por la radio. Pues entonces escucha “PUNKEMO” un programa fresco y con el toque casero. Los sabados de 18:00 a 19:30 hora de Mexico, 19:00 a 20:30 hora de Colombia, 20:00 a 21:30 hora de Venezuela y republica dominicana, 21:00 a 22:30 hora de chile y 1:00 a 2:30 AM hora de Espana. Apoya la buena musica y conoce grupos de Norteamerica, America latina y Espana. Si tienes una banda de happy, emo, screamo, rock punk o pop punk y desean que pasemos su sencillo y los demos a conocer en la seccion “RECOMENDACIONES” solo envia un correo al my space de “PUNKEMO” y solicitanos la informacion necesaria para que puedan aparecer en la seccion y pongamos su sencillo en rotacion. Cualquier queja o comentario en http://www.myspace.com/punkemorcj y en punkemo_radiocuevadeljaguar@hotmail.com. Y recuerda di no….AL PINCHE REGGAETON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Escuchanos en http://www.radiocuevadeljaguar.mx.kz

I especially like the .mx.kz which suggests some kind of Spanish-language Borat.

Something about this kind of appeal from a foreign country makes it appealing and not annoying. If this had been in English I would have said “Feh!” but coming from earnest foreigners it makes me want to buy them a beer. Rock on, Punkemo.

Open Letter: Punk Rock

I got a myspace friend request from a band called “Hey Stroker” ( http://www.myspace.com/heystrokeroc ). Here’s what they have to say about themselves:

Hey everyone you probably haven’t heard of us yet but we’re Hey Stroker a melodic, punk-rock from Mission Viejo, CA in Orange County. Some people say we’re sort of like the Beach Boys playing intriguing pop-punk. We combine screaming guitar leads with punchy bass lines, pounding drum beats, and the well-crafted lyrical and vocal arrangements. Everyone says we sound like Blink 182 but, we don’t. We have a high-octane, radio-friendly sound that’s all our own so whoever says we are a Blink 182 rip-off, FUCK YOU! Activities we enjoy include partying, drinking beer, and surfing thats why most of our music is about chiks, beer, surfing, ex-girlfriends(aka hos), or various parts of the human body mainly pussy, tits, and ass.

Okay. Guys? Punk rock may or may not be melodic, but it’s not radio-friendly, nor is it about “chiks, beer, surfing…” etc. Punk rock lyrics are sometimes about beer and sex, or surfing, but that’s not the point. Punk rock is liberation. When I say “liberation,” I mean liberation from stupid money-grubbing capitalism, consumer culture, war, educational credentialism, smooth nice music, bourgeois sensibilities, bigotry, oppressive politics, official anything, corporate media, TV, suburban self-satisfied smugness, and unthinking racial and gender assumptions. Punk rock is D.I.Y. instead of buying or copying shit. Punk Rock is about being polite to the cop and flipping off the mayor, because the mayor is the problem and the cop is just a worker. Punk rock is about communicating everything above with hard, rough, unrefined and uneducated noise and having a fucking great time doing it and sharing it with everyone else.

In sum, punk rock is about liberation from you. Dump your privilege and your expensive guitars, stop imitating, and start over. You’re still young and you have a chance at the real thing.

Punk rock saved my life. Don’t shit all over it for five bucks when you don’t even know what it is.

Samy

I’ve known Samy a long time, maybe eight years. He’s a computer genius. At age 15 he was running the L.A. Perl Users Group. I got a conference room for him at my job and he ran the whole thing, even though his mom had to drop him off there. He finished high school early and got emancipated. At 16 or 17 he was living in his own apartment, making good money at a technology job. I didn’t see him often, but it was always a pleasure. Unlike a few other computer geniuses I’ve known, he was personable and sociable, even charming. And Samy is an idea factory. He would pop up, say hi, and show me something he’d done. It was almost always a “holy shit” moment of surprise and admiration for me. More than once he’d figured something out that was potentially Very Big, but he never sold his hacks and to my knowledge he never did any harm.

In October, 2005 someone gave me a link to Samy’s website. On that page, a surprised and a bit frightened Samy recounted his adventures with Myspace. With his usual flair for amusing and instructive hacks, Samy had created a software worm that caused anyone who visited his myspace to have “Samy is my hero” put in their profile. And anyone who viewed their site got the same thing. Exponential growth occurred. Five hours later a million profiles were infected. Six hours later Myspace.com was down.

At the time I was working for Myspace’s parent company. We joked about the hero hack, and we figured they’d probably either fix the hole and hire him, or pretend it didn’t happen.

They did neither of those things. They filed a civil suit, and pressed criminal charges. This week it was announced that Samy had pled out and been sentenced to three years probation, an undisclosed sum of “restitution” to myspace, and restrictions on his use of computers and the internet (employment purposes only) for an undisclosed period.

I think Samy got a raw deal. I’m sure that Myspace and the prosecutor turned the downtime into a cash figure from lost ad revenue, because in my experience the D.A.’s are not interested in computer “crimes” unless they involved large sums of money or national security. It’s my opinion that Myspace needed a security success to offset their more lurid and frightening image as a haunt of murderers and sexual predators. Samy is neither. He’s just a smart kid who made the classic Robert Tappan Morris worm mistake.

I hope they don’t find a way to nail him during his probation.

Welcome, Jemifer.

I have received this communication from “Jemifer” or “Jenifer” (spelled both ways) on myspace. It looks like Jem (Jen) has had a whole lot of coffee, because this all obviously came out in a rush. It’s rare for someone in a calm state of mind to misspell her own name. There’s a lot to chew on here, and I will have to consider my response to her very carefully. Clearly she’s a passionate person and a serious thinker, and someone who is thinking outside of her box.

I have met “net-friends” many times but haven’t had her experience of feeling nervous, or wondering what they’ll look like in person. And I did let go of my expectations years ago, about damn near anything. But she’s probably a lot younger.

She does bring up a good point about dishonesty, particularly where size is concerned. I have a refined and quite serious fetish that requires my girlfriends to be at least three meters tall and not less than 20 cm in diameter, and I can’t tell you how many times some hopeful bachelorette has insisted that she meets these requirements only to disappoint — INSTANTLY — on first meeting.

I’m not sure what Jem/Jen asks of me, or any of us really. The call to adventure is clear, and she’s an encouraging person with a touching faith in the victory of love over the petty barriers of distance, appearance, and language. However, the language itself becomes a problem and it’s hard to say how we should respond to her.

Anyway I’m at a loss. Maybe one of you can help her out, or at least find out how she spells her name.

Hello am Jemifer……………
In meeting net-friends for the first time, just remember that they are probably as nervous as you are! Its always a shock for me to finally SEE someone Ive known “o nline” for ages, but it will pass quickly.
Let go of your expectations – the expectation that i will like you (and the corresponding fear that i wont), and the expectation that you will like me (and the fear that you wont). The beauty of the net is that there are no looks, no accents, no physical barriers to filter through….
Just the essence of ones soul. You look on the net for women that would bring out the beauty of their hearts, and yet you bring in the same expectations that might have caused you to fail in finding a mate in the real world. If women lie to you about their size and their looks, then that is because you expect them to lie to you. If you could see my inner beauty without tainting it with your physical expectations, you would be amazed at how many Gems you could find on the net.
On the NET, you have the chance to behold the beauty of ones spirit.
Accept people for who they are, and stop expecting them to be who you want them to be, and you would be surprised how many beauties will break your doors down. Try it, and you will have the same success both on the net, and on the real world.So cyber relationships that turns into real time relationships can and do work.If you go into it with the right attitude then you wont be disappointed. For me, look s didnt matter. I fell in love with the way person opened up to me.
sweetie.
And if u care for a private chat also u want to know more about me u can contact me with this e-mail address
jenifernxtblock4u@yahoo.com….hope to hear from u soon……….

Jenifer…..

myspace sockpuppets

They’re so boring!

When I look to see who’s close to my zip code, the view is clogged with people alleging themselves to be characters on “The O.C.” How original.

Here’s something funnier. When I browse by people who attended UCLA when I did, which should be a much smaller group on myspace at my age, I get… Jack Bauer, protagonist of “24.”

WHERE’S ME BUCCANEERS?

This is intriguing, just received via myspace. I could certainly use more glitter words in my life, but what really got me excited was the “whore me generator.” It sounds like something Captain Haddock would yell, or maybe some software that would show me what I’d look like as a whore, or even better a way to get people to pay to have sex with a diesel generator, which would be all sparky and enginey and fetishey and incredibly lucrative. And I really, really admire the idea of charging someone to steal someone else’s code and paste it to them. That’s the kind of business thinking that will turbocharge an e-strategy into cyber-success.

I think it’s time for bed.

Hello,
Just want to let you know we are here to support your myspace profile. Here is a list of things we can do for your myspace account;

Profile Generator.
Like Someelse’s layout? Snatch their code and use it for yourself.
1000’s of pre made myspace layouts you can use.
1000’s of graphics to use on your profile or to post comments.
Glitter Word Generators.
Scrolling Bar Generators.
Comment Box Editor.
Friend Box Editor.
Contact Images.
Online Now Icons.
Profile Counters.
Free Image Hosting.
Flash Music Player (Create your own MP3 music player with your own songs to put on your profile)
Auto Comment Generator.
Whore Me Generator.
Put a Custom Image on the “xxx is in your Extended Network” Section.
Music Codes, Video Codes

Everything you would ever want. Check it out! there is def something you could use here.