This Saturday at the Island Hotel here in Newport!

You know it’s a sad event when the only speaker who shouldn’t be in prison is Pat Sajak.

The Claremont Institute presents the 20th Anniversary Dinner in Honor of Sir Winston Churchill, in honor of Donald Rumsfeld, with honorary co-host Dick Cheney (by video from his Castle of Evil) and introductory remarks by William J. Bennett!

Two war criminals, a gambler Tartuffe blowhard bigot, and a game show host. I hope Pat goes off on all of them for being unclean and then pulls the string on a suicide bomb. “You called me here today to be the emcee for your dinner. You wanted a nice friendly puppet, someone crass, a real pro, a get along guy. WELL YOU GOT A MAN ON A MISSION, SUCKERS!” [blam] Okay, fantasy over.

Don’t go anywhere near Newport Center if you want to avoid the anal probe and/or worst traffic ever. I’m sure the presence of Rummy & Bill will result in a terrordome being lowered over the entire zip code. No need to protest. I could just show up within 3/4 of a mile in my not very clean car and wham it’s gitmo.

Stereotypes seen at grocery store

cake yeah!

Very tall very fat gamer dude with long ponytail

Tough ‘n’ angry monobrow Santa Ana gangbanger with apologetic smiling girlfriend/sister

Two very sunburnt bro-dude gay guys, one of whom was drunk enough to eat a bit of the wrapper of his candy bar while staring at US Magazine on the newsrack

A guy who couldn’t find the beer and then announced that he was having one before he drove home

Doah (Hi Dasan!)