They are all in one or more of the following categories:
- I want someone of a certain race; I am of a certain race.
- I wish to smoke marijuana with someone and also have sex.
- I wish to have sex with someone who is wealthy and will compensate me with an enjoyable lifestyle, or, I am that wealthy person and I am prepared to provide this.
- I am fat or I wish to have sex with someone who is fat.
- I am extremely bitter about sex and dating, and here are the many, many types of people and situations I refuse to consider. In most ways I dislike other people.There is nothing else I have to say for or about myself.
- I am a prostitute.
Does “Matt” swing this way? He’s got an admirer…
Matt at Newport Rib Co. – m4m
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2006-05-20, 12:15AM PDT
You waited on us tonight and gave us great service, would like to return the favor and service you sometime.
* this is in or around Ladera Ranch
My Indian/Arabic Beauty – m4w – 28
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2006-05-13, 4:36AM PDT
Who are you? I ask myself. It was just another Friday; bunch of friends hanging out, hoping to meet that one person that will change their lives but knowing that most likely that would not happen. Because of this, expectations were low and passing time was the goal. The first 2 hours played out as expected: the conventional few drinks and common questions. How’s your week? Is your boss still a prick? What’s your plan for tomorrow?
I was about to call it a night, when I decided to get my last drink at the Shark’s Club. Then it happened. That moment that will cause me to stay up till 3 AM and write this letter.
As I waited to order my drink, I bumped into you at the bar. Even though shy by nature, I felt compelled to at least say one phrase to you. Maybe; hi, how are you? To be honest, I don’t remember what was said, but I knew we hit it off instantly as we began to talk about favorite alcoholic beverages. You, I presumed are a Coke and Vodka fan. You asked me to share a drink and I refused at first since I was the designated driver for the night. But your easy-going personality and mixed Indian and Arabic beauty gave me no choice but to relent. As we continued the generalities of an introduction, the connection became stronger. You know that feeling that this might be more than just coincident. Maybe this will go beyond the casual encounter.
I mentioned to you that my favorite concoction was a Jaegermeister and a Red Bull mix and you laughed. Some may take it as nothing more than impoliteness; however, I felt totally connected. It’s that feeling that you might have found that one person that will at least be worth a second or third date. I decided to introduce you to my buddy and he thought you were cool. Maybe too cool since you scared away the girl that he was hitting on. We began to talk and you mentioned that you like trance music and you were going to a place called Avalon in LA tomorrow. Where is Avalon I would normally ask? However, it turns out my buddy knows the place and had planned for us go there tomorrow. Ask I stared at you again, I kept on thinking about that magic word that people always use: connection. You made fun of me and I thought how cool. What girl makes fun of a guy at first sight and drags him out to the dance floor? Still half dazed and confused, we went to meet your friends on the dance floor. But as fate would have it, as we move through the crowded joint, we got separated.
Believe me when I tell you that I frantically searched every corner for you. Maybe it was only a few minutes; maybe more, however, it felt like an eternity trying to find you. During that time, part of me imagined that you too are also looking for me. But the pessimistic side said: bad omen. Here comes another Friday: one where frustration rules and hook-up with the wrong person is the norm. Eventually, I saw you again near the bar, talking to two other guys: one shaved and looking like he served our country well. My heart dropped: a precipitous fall from its once high. We eventually made eye contact but instead of coming back to me, as I would have wished, you continued to talk to the interloper. Believe me, when I say, my whole being just wanted to approach the player and kick his ass; however, some stupid moral constraint prevented me from doing the instinctive.
Here I stand, in a state of denial; unable to cope with the loss of the Indian/Arabic beauty that haunts my sleep; angry at her for not reciprocating my desire for her and worst failing to get her number. It’s now 3 AM and I am writing this letter in hopes that YOU somehow get this message and write back. I know it is a small chance, but what alternative to do I have?
* this is in or around Costa Mesa
* no — it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
I don’t know where to start with this one, really. You guys go ahead.
wanted: Christian Surgeon – 37
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2006-01-26, 7:25AM PST
I want to meet a surgeon, preferably plastic surgeon in the NewPort beach area. Make me perfect so you will be proud. I love to go to the movies, dinning out, DVDs in, rainy nights, sunsets, dancing, my 2 wonderful kids (14 and 11), God, travel, sight seeing, shopping, horseback riding, SCUBA diving, skiing, going to the gym, relaxing at home, redecorating my humble apartment, good food, good wine and good movies. I enjoy the finer things in life.
Me: I am sweet, 5’8″, blond (gold) and blue, family oriented, also like to be alone, romance, roses and candles, aromatherapy and music.
I currently work in billing for a large clinic.
* this is in or around OC
* no — it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Apparently the new euphemism for “super extra old” in personals is “mellowed”.
Screenshot below the cut for if’n it’s pulled.
have you never been mellow
<3<3<3Down Ass/Classy Chick-Wants 2Hang Out W/ Some 1 Down as Her<3
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2005-10-20, 1:53AM PDT
Little about me…….
I am 20 years old, very sweet, honest and outgoing, very mature for my
age…… I love to go to the gym, although my body doesn't need it LOL, just wanna be healthy. I am a very petitte girl, Nationalities are Caucasian,some Indian<- which keeps me nice and tan. 5'6",115lbs, I have green eyes, black and blonde streaked hair, just had Breast Aug…. Humm I LOVE UFC fighting!!!! I love Tattoo's!!! Crazy, Outgoing, Down ass guys… I am soooo into CARS, love to go to Car and Truck shows…… umm Street Bikes, woo hoo ;), I was in a Street bike accident 6 weeks ago….. Still love them and wanna ride !!!! I like to lay on the beach and relax, and listen to the water and possibly fall asleep, lol. I love to rollerblade along the boardwalk at the beach. I love cooking, making breakfast, lunch, dinner, and baking!!! I am a very down to earth girl, I like to make it a joke to say that I am a down ass B*tch, LOL…..I am looking for some cool friends,NOT interested in "hook ups", or sex, or a relationship. I am newly (4 ) months out of being engaged for 2 years, and not willing to give myself to just anyone. Of course If I meet that right person, then its different 🙂 … Well anyway, I guess thats a little about me, sounds like im a crazy girl… Im just well rounded, how I like others. Im very classy sexy, and I want someone the same 🙂 Sexy, sexy ONLY for who I am with…. but kick back too.
Anyways.. PS…. I do have pictures…..
I have experienced some people that were not who they said they were and def. wasn't the person in the pic.. I AM WEIRY, AND FREAKED OUT!!!!!! DONT NEED STALKERS FOR REAL …
I know about regretting missed opportunity and lost youth. It’s a weakness of mine. But I have my limits, you know. At a certain point I start to laugh at myself and go for a walk. And I could never have posted this craigslist ad. Even though I was at that concert. Pretty good show, by the way.
cp’d here for when it gets removed
I get an RSS feed of the craigslist personals, two categories. This is a fine use of technology to help me find future stalking victims.
A lot of the posts on craigslist personals are from prostitutes or something close to it, and those posts get yanked. And there are also the usual Internet weirdos who will use anything as a message board, including one guy who keeps posting about how he doesn’t like fat girls, and people who get trolled by him and post things back at him. And all of these posts come out as individual personal ads too, and then get yanked.
About a week ago, I started seeing dollar amounts in a lot of postings. They’d say things like “Viet girl in irvine looking for LTR – $28”. I wondered what the hell? Were they all prostitutes? And if so, why so cheap? Had Mr. Troll managed to break in somehow and insert prices on all the women to make some more trouble?
I finally clicked through on one today and “Work too much? No time to find a nice lady? (OC) $24” turned out to be “Work too much? No time to find a nice lady? (OC) – 24”. For some reason the feed is prepending a dollar sign to all the ages of the personals posters.
So, yeah, that’s the story of how bad character sets in RSS feeds ruined my dream of cheap sex in Orange County.
From the soon-to-be-deleted http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/w4m/89627367.html
As much as I know their customers aren’t very discriminating, any invitation that includes the phrase “I will meet you in the truck at 1:15 a.m.”…
GANG BANG TONIGHT IN BEUNA PARK!!!! – 22
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2005-08-07, 11:36PM PDT
HOT COUPLE HERE!SHE LOVES CREAM PIES.SO HER IS HOW IT GOES WE ARE IN A HOTEL ROOM AT THE (HOME TOWN INN}OFF OF BEACH BLVD.BETWEEN THE 91 AND LA PALMA. WE ARE MEETING IN THE PARKING LOT WHEN YOU PULL IN GO STRAIGHT BACK YOU WILL SEE A DARK BLUE GMC SEIRRA TRUCK 2004 WITH 20 ” RIMS PARK AND WAIT THE MEETING TIME IS 1:00AM THERE WILL BE A 25 DOLLER DONATION TO GET IN I WILL MEET YOU AT THE TRUCK AT 1:15AM AND BRING YOU UP!DONT BE LATE!WHEN THAT DOOR CLOSES ITS ON!!!