Tag: commerce

Hellraiser: A Skin Creme for Men

The Guardian reports that the Chinese government is making cosmetic products out of the skin of executed prisoners.

After I finished retching and clawing at my face, I composed myself and thought “Hmm, there must be some way to get in on this one.” I figure there are going to be more executions here, mostly of younger people, and increasingly by lethal injection which leaves things looking good. One problem is that our Death Row population is mostly dark brown and our high-end cosmetics buyer tends to be light pink. I’m not sure whether we’re going to go with bleaching the convicts or just selling the products to tanning salons as Jared suggested.

Product name suggestions are Justice: Strong Supple Skin for Him and Lifeskin Recyclables Body Rejuvenator.

I see no problem with this at all.

The Segerstroms want to put in 23-story condo towers across from South Coast Plaza in “Lakes Pavilion”, where the Greek restaurant is. First, they have to demonstrate that putting these in won’t cause environmental impact in the form of more cars. I wonder how hard it will be to convince their drinking buddies on the City Council that everything will be fine?

http://www.dailypilot.com/front/story/23331p-33245c.html

It’s not as bad as the condo-ization of East Costa Mesa, which is just slums in 20 years. At least South Coast Metro is already a sterile collection of malls and corporate plop architecture. But wow, if they start cranking up high-rises everywhere…

I move for a bad court thingy.

In the middle of the Gulf Coast remix of the Raft of the Medusa, we have the oddly synchronistic criminal “failure” of a hedge fund called Bayou, as beautifully reported by the Wall Street Journal. Entire latest article is behind the cut, because it’s sorta long. Here are the salient points for TL;DR purposes:

  1. $60 million “unaccounted for”!
  2. $101 million turned over to a gang of Arizona con artists who said they’d make up the shortfall for the fund manager!
  3. Fund manager’s attorneys have withdrawn from the case due to unspecified ethical considerations. Read: Oh shit we can’t defend this guy, oh shit he’s so fucking dirty, oh shit shit shit!
  4. Sham accounting firm! Sham accounting firm! Sham accounting firm!
  5. $3.5 million in Spongebob Squarepants checks!
  6. CFO writes suicide note, is checked into mental hospital!

I tell ya if we’re gonna fix this country, we have to run it like a business. That means into the ground after looting it, in case you’re curious.

story

Area Executives Admire Idols of Selves

statues

Ford Chairman William Clay Ford Jr., left, then-UAW President Stephen P. Yokich and Visteon CEO Peter J. Pestillo unveil statues of themselves at the dedication of the Sterling Heights family center in 2001.

The punchline is the actual headline: Visteon cuts employees’ child care program. The photo, of course, is from the opening.

via autoblog.

Edit: My mother had the brilliant idea of getting all the preschoolers together and having some of them pull down the statues, Saddam-style, with lots of adorable kiddie cheering. I hope someone does this.

O ye lawyers and ferris wheels

The total bill for my vertiginous vomitous vacation to the ER is roughly $900 after my excellent insurance. Otherwise it would have been more like $5000. For which I am grateful. But, so much for paying down more debt next month. Also, the insurer and the hospital are disagreeing about whether I pay that particular bill to the tune of $521 or $487, so I foresee a fun conversation on the phone tomorrow about that.

And then I think about the people who’d have to put that money (either sum) on credit and pay the minimum on the never-never, and how they can’t go bankrupt any more, and how their minimum payments will double next year, and I am even more grateful that I’m on the Eloi scale and not the Morlock one right now. If this had been me 15 years ago I would have been in deep shit. Oh wait, that was me 15 years ago, and I got sued in small claims court for $2000 by a medical group!

I was thinking these thoughts as I went over to the Apple Store to get them to fix a bad key on my expensive laptop that I can barely afford, and there was a guy in front of me in the top of the line Mercedes SUV (5 liter V8, MSRP starting at $49,275) driving like a complete dick and endangering others, and as I went down Dover Drive to PCH this person was basically playing chicken with a gigantic tanker truck full of gasoline. So here you had the gas-guzzling luxury pansy-ass dude ranch $50,000 SUV with one old fat white guy in it risking the lives of everyone within a mile over whether he got to go in front, including the working-class dude driving the fuel truck who is bringing Mr. SUV the fuel he needs to keep on with his pathetic lifestyle.

I live in this weird part of the world where almost daily I get an overblown condensed symbol of everything wrong with my country shoved right in my face, and I find myself saying to the Great Novelist: “Where is your subtlety? Enough with the clunky obvious symbolism!”

At the Genius bar I sat next to a 20something perfect California girl hottie with the blonde and the tan and the curves and the hoo and the haa. Not usually my type, but she was exceptionally hot and also really nice. However, I fell out of “love” with her as soon as she used the word “proactive”.

As I left, a family was arriving and the little girl was complaining about something. I heard the mother say “Well, we’re going to stay here for quite a while. We’ve FINALLY made it to the MALL!”

PrivacyWatch: Data heisted from car dealers is sold

From Automotive Digest, a charming story. ADP Dealers Services (a division of the payroll giant) was caught surreptitiously taking data from auto dealers and selling it to Carfax, the automotive data company. The rest of their summary of an Automotive News story not available to nonsubscribers is below. I’m glad that they are aware of the sensitivities.

Situation
1. ADP Dealers Services admits taking data from dealers; sold it w/o their knowledge
2. Says repair and maintenance records taken after hours, then sold to Carfax
3. ADP says it’s stopped pulling data due to dealer complaints
4. Won’t say how many dealers involved in action from Dec through March
5. Experts say dealers need to have lawyers review all contracts w/ vendors
6. Some dealer groups want states to require dealer consent before vendors pull data

Significant Points
1. At issue is who owns data on dealer computers
2. But automakers and vendors often have access
3. Dealers worry about identity theft, privacy lawsuits
4. ADP furnished Carfax w/ VIN data, not protected by federal privacy laws
5. ADP competitor, Reynolds & Reynolds, sells data to Power Information Network
6. But contract promises to get dealer’s permission

Says
“And they’re taking our information and selling it to other organizations. Every dime of that money (paid to ADP) needs to be returned to the dealers.” — David Farris, owner, Farris Motors

“While the goal of the program was in the best interest of dealers and consumers, a better job should have been done thinking through potential dealer concerns and communicating to dealers the rationale and advantages of the program.” — Kevin Henahan, senior VP marketing, ADP

“Privacy is a huge area of concern. We are aware of the sensitivities.” — Mark Feighery, spokesman, Reynolds & Reynolds

Web Source
http://www.autonews.com/article.cms?articleId=54175
http://www.adp.com
http://www.carfax.com
http://www.reyrey.com

I GOT EMAIL FROM THE DONALD!!!!

I’m excited to be going back to school. How could someone of my background and aspirations miss the “live educational event of the decade”?

From: info@trumpuniversity.com
Subject: Personal Invitation from Donald Trump
Date: August 23, 2005 12:44:44 PM PDT
Reply-To: info@trumpuniversity.com

I’m writing to invite you to meet me personally, online, at a once-in-a-lifetime event. On September 13th I am launching The Trump Way to Wealth. It will be the live educational event of the decade, and I want you to join me (see link below).

hilarity