Welcome, Jemifer.

I have received this communication from “Jemifer” or “Jenifer” (spelled both ways) on myspace. It looks like Jem (Jen) has had a whole lot of coffee, because this all obviously came out in a rush. It’s rare for someone in a calm state of mind to misspell her own name. There’s a lot to chew on here, and I will have to consider my response to her very carefully. Clearly she’s a passionate person and a serious thinker, and someone who is thinking outside of her box.

I have met “net-friends” many times but haven’t had her experience of feeling nervous, or wondering what they’ll look like in person. And I did let go of my expectations years ago, about damn near anything. But she’s probably a lot younger.

She does bring up a good point about dishonesty, particularly where size is concerned. I have a refined and quite serious fetish that requires my girlfriends to be at least three meters tall and not less than 20 cm in diameter, and I can’t tell you how many times some hopeful bachelorette has insisted that she meets these requirements only to disappoint — INSTANTLY — on first meeting.

I’m not sure what Jem/Jen asks of me, or any of us really. The call to adventure is clear, and she’s an encouraging person with a touching faith in the victory of love over the petty barriers of distance, appearance, and language. However, the language itself becomes a problem and it’s hard to say how we should respond to her.

Anyway I’m at a loss. Maybe one of you can help her out, or at least find out how she spells her name.

Hello am Jemifer……………
In meeting net-friends for the first time, just remember that they are probably as nervous as you are! Its always a shock for me to finally SEE someone Ive known “o nline” for ages, but it will pass quickly.
Let go of your expectations – the expectation that i will like you (and the corresponding fear that i wont), and the expectation that you will like me (and the fear that you wont). The beauty of the net is that there are no looks, no accents, no physical barriers to filter through….
Just the essence of ones soul. You look on the net for women that would bring out the beauty of their hearts, and yet you bring in the same expectations that might have caused you to fail in finding a mate in the real world. If women lie to you about their size and their looks, then that is because you expect them to lie to you. If you could see my inner beauty without tainting it with your physical expectations, you would be amazed at how many Gems you could find on the net.
On the NET, you have the chance to behold the beauty of ones spirit.
Accept people for who they are, and stop expecting them to be who you want them to be, and you would be surprised how many beauties will break your doors down. Try it, and you will have the same success both on the net, and on the real world.So cyber relationships that turns into real time relationships can and do work.If you go into it with the right attitude then you wont be disappointed. For me, look s didnt matter. I fell in love with the way person opened up to me.
And if u care for a private chat also u want to know more about me u can contact me with this e-mail address
jenifernxtblock4u@yahoo.com….hope to hear from u soon……….


Dear Amazon:

I’m not into what you’re into. It’s not that I’m critical of your lifestyle; I just get my kicks from different things. I’m looking right now for one of those geeky weather things you put on your house and it talks to your computer and you have a weather station. That’s all. So, when you ask:

“Did you mean wireless leather station?”

The answer is no.



P.S. Out of sheer curiosity: I know about the leather lifestyle, but how is it wireless, or associated with stations? This is a new area of human sexuality to me.


I have been contacted by a fembot on MySpace. This one appears to either be an especially hard-working sweatshop typist or a semi-broken robot. I’m not willing to investigate further so the Turing test will not be done.

There’s no photo, which strikes me as a terrible mistake. Anyone who would go for something this idiotic needs a photo. I do have something in common with the robot, though. I love to have fun, too!

Hey Conrad!

I don’t mean to bother you.. I just moved out here around Newport Beach for work a couple of weeks ago. It sucks cuz I don’t know AnYBoDY out here ;(. My friends back home suggested I start a myspace and look for people in my area. I just started today so here I am! 😀

Well I’m lookin to meet a guy and you are pretty cute Hehe. About me… Well I’m 24, single, and I love to have fun. I’m into older men. Since you’re cute and 41, you fit the profile! LoL

I just started this myspace stuff today so my profile is pretty thin to say the least. If you wanna see some of my pix, I have a homepage @ houseofvicky.com/kris – there’s a bunch of photos and stuff… I also left you a PeRSoNaL message on the front page so come check it out k?

XoXo KriSty

Amazon recommendation funnies

Browsing Amazon for books about fascism (yes I am a cheery fellow), I found one in the usually excellent “Very Short Introductions” series. Of course Amazon always likes to pair things up and get you to buy two. In this case they ended up making a controversial statement about political economy.

No! They aren’t better together! No! NO!