YOU ARE PART OF THIS COMPLICATED MEDIA PIE

The latest in the series of maniacal memos from Lee Abrams to Tribune Staff is at Romenesko in its entirety, via LA Observed’s synopsis.

So beautiful. Excerpts:

Using my favorite music analogies–Imagine Newspaper CONTENT is a major artist. Currently they are performing in a old but reliable venue. What happens if the artist (Content) moves into a new super venue? Fans will love it–the music (content) will sound clearer…better seats…etc…If you create anew venue (look) and you do it RIGHT, people will love it. Not unlike a new baseball park.

THREE DAY PREVIEW: Why is it only weather can do three day previews? Newspapers tend to look at YESTERDAY. How about looking at TOMORROW..and the days after. You can’t predict breaking news of course, but you CAN condition readers that there IS a tomorrow and YOU will be there.

Because Newspapers are in every home and on every street
corner. The better the paper IS and does, the stronger all of the other
brands will be!!! Creating new brands to reach non traditional print
demos is good…but the stronger and more potent the core paper is–the
better EVERYTHING will be. Sorta like Diet Coke wouldn’t have a prayer
if COKE wasn’t a powerhouse….sorta. I DO see a lot of “whoa! GREAT
idea…too bad we can’t try it on our core brand” Why???!!! Is it
“assuming” that traditional readers won’t like it?

Red Ale

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Red Ale, originally uploaded by conradh.

Ale, men, ale’s the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think

This is why I blog.

For no-breathe funny replies like this one to my poke at Chronic Cantina guy. Oh man. Quoted below in full, context more apparent at the post itself:

It’s only obvious that you are just one of many, MANY forgettable girls who have been quickly turned on and turned out by my friend Mr. Scheinberg here…which im sure was quickly followed by a “What was your name?” type of moment! LOL Ahh…So many broken hearts…So little time to care.

Oh, but what do I know? Well as someone who got down and did The Butt Naked Booty Scoot with him as well as help him run one of his first companies while he finished law school at Chapman 7 years ago…I think I’m a little more than qualified. Did I mention he is hands down my favorite boss and manager to date? (And I mean from a professional position not a sexual one…although that too was quite impressive!) *
🙂

I’m definitely qualified enough to tell you that if you are so ignorant and immature as to not respect the fact that Keith Scheinberg is one of the youngest and most successful MEN in Orange County -not to mention extremely good looking & good in bed- then I would suggest doing us all a favor and keep your lips and legs the same way – closed!

Peace! (Shout out to MAX- love ya!)

Keepin’ my lips and my legs wiiiide open here, babe. Say hi to Marie Antoinette for me! It’s all good.

If anyone sees bob…

Tell him to gimme a call! Collect, or pay phone, or whatever. His prepaid phone is dead and has the cheery message saying I should call again later.

I guess they decided that prepaid phones were “urban” because the error message guy sounds like Will Smith.

Or tell Bob I’ll be at BG tonight, and he can have a ride if he wants. He can’t ride his WHIZZER right now so I want to make sure he gets out of the house, gets food, etc.

Plug my ears but I hear you

Did you see it on tv
Or in your own back yard
Gates’ LAPD
And then they called the national guard
Then the tanks came rolling down
Sunset boulevard
and I hear america snoring…

— Grant Lee Buffalo, “America Snoring” from Fuzzy, 1993

It was in my own back yard, Grant. You and I watched it in disbelief. I can still smell it, if I happen to think about it.

Critical Thinking: Don’t get a Prius.

The hybrid car is a lie. Do not purchase one.

  1. The only reason the hybrid car exists is to allow auto manufacturers to continue selling grossly wasteful and polluting vehicles to consumers. Because California law requires an overall emissions target and minimum quantity of zero emissions vehicles, a manufacturer has to sell hybrid or electric powered vehicles in order to continue selling large commercial trucks to consumers as toys, and other sins.
  2. Purchasing a hybrid vehicle pays off the owner’s conscience in the best American way: with a unique product. The buyer feels a sense of moral superiority, the seller makes some money, and the essential problem continues. It’s no wonder the name of the most popular one sounds like “pious.”
  3. Buying a hybrid car means buying a new car. Don’t buy a new car. It’s true that as your hybrid car runs it will put less direct pollutant material in the air and water. It’s also true that it will use less gasoline. However, you have just bought a very large machine which was manufactured new. Add up the steel and aluminum, the machining and casting of parts, the chemicals used and dumped, the nonrenewable resources consumed or used to build the car, all the energy used to build a car and carry its materials around, the energy used to move the car around by ship and truck to the dealer, all of it. Making a car is a very top heavy resource-hungry industrial process.

    And your car doesn’t go away. Unless you have it artfully crushed into a cube as a coffee table, or personally supervise its recycling, your car is sold to another person and stays on the road. And that person’s car is sold down the line too, until we arrive at unusable or junked cars, which then go to a graveyard to be broken down. Everything about the car is toxic too, just in case you’re curious.

    So now you’ve brought a new car into the world (they’ll make more!) and given a nice big fat gut punch to Mother Nature in doing so. Failure.

  4. Keep your old car instead. If it’s not so run down that the mileage is shot, and it’s passing the emissions tests, it’s a better deal for “the planet” and for you also. It is not as demonstrative of your love for the GREEN GAIA to continue with your serviceable older car, but trust me, she appreciates it.
  5. nstead, do things that don’t burn fuel, or burn less. If you’re physically able, ride a bike more to short drives. Use public transit. Even in Southern Californian Heck, where I live, I can (and now I do) take the train into Los Angeles when I am able.
  6. It will be a great day for this country when Americans can look at a serious problem and do something other than pick up a lifestyle magazine and look for some product guides. Buying things is a terrible solution to so many things.