lactose-free ultraviolence milk

  1. torgo_x is your own personal news service today, giving us the all the news roundup we need. I really like the quote from the French policeman, where he manages to get a Biblical reference and a wine/communism quip in the same sentence.
  2. I got spinnaz all over ’cause that’s how I roll.
  3. Wait, did NASA just explain something by microgravity levitation?
  4. I was delighted to see the headline “Ashlee Simpson in Blender” until I found out that this referred to Blender magazine. Guys, get your type styles right! You’re getting my hopes up with these style errors!
  5. Let’s all read this detailed engineering analysis of squid!
  6. These genetically modified peas turned out to be possibly dangerous. Oops.
  7. Learn to Pop and Lock from this instructional DVD. The video clips are…
  8. Schneier as usual gets the real point of the Sony DRM disaster: The antivirus companies just plain suck. Why waste your money?
  9. Clockwork Orange-like eyeball movement measuring can detect childhood brain ailments early, it seems.

Midstate Office Supply represent

I introduced torgo_x to the nightmare world of Orange County’s Party Losers Website, a party promoter inexplicably named “Spirit World” whom I’ve mocked here before. A few minutes browsing their photo albums will tell you all you need to know about the phrase “Bros and Hos”. Sean of course found the “best” picture of all, featuring a mighty fly Accounts Receivable Manager and his crew:

booyah

The Sean John shirt makes it.

Classic patio scene.

Sitting at the bar next to A.J. and talking with Michelle, bla bla, half-reading a book.

In walks this woman who is so hot as to cause a readjustment of the Universal Hotness Index, one flaming screaming hot PIECE OF ASS, probably about 19 years old. I skip a few beats from pure lust, and A.J. notices. He turns around back and says “Holy shit.” I smile at her nervously, she smiles back in a very pleasant way and goes back out.

A.J. says “Dude! That was for YOU!”

“She is seven years old,” I reply.

After a few more conversations and 100 pages of reading, I head to my car. Miss. Jesus H. Christ My Spleen Just Exploded With Lust From Looking at You is sitting with Tommy “Aloysius” Dougherty, who has been “39” for ten years or so. He’s being all artistic, and soulful, and poetical, and shit.

Didn’t I see this same exact scene in 1996? And every weekend since?