BUILDING A PLATFORM TO HERCULES

My favorite insane cult from the 1980s is the CHURCH UNIVERSAL AND TRIUMPHANT, led by Elizabeth Clare Prophet. Her books were in the weirdo section and I was always fascinated. There was something about St. Germain, and new Christian prophecies, and aliens, and everything.

Like everyone else they had a compound. Theirs was by Yellowstone and they stockpiled weapons waiting for the inevitable pseudo-Christian apocalyptic disaster.

Ms. Prophet had a unique preaching style, and fortunately a recording of one service at least survives. This is from my 20th birthday! Many of you will have heard one of these tracks (“invocation for Judgement”) because it’s an attack on rock music that lists a long series of popular bands in 1984 that must be destroyed, and are comically mispronounced (Cindy Looper, etc.).

Decree 12.10 is only for completists, as it’s basically 27:57 of deranged cattle auctioneer/martian hoedown/speaking in tongues. The others are great though. If you just get one, get #4, the Great Divine Rector’s Call. Please download rather than streaming, and mirror if you want to share.

The Sounds of American Doomsday Cults: The Church Universal and Triumphant

  1. Dedication To The Tackling Of The Beast And The Dragon — The Momentum Of Rock’n’roll
  2. Call For Protection
  3. Video Shorts With Two Announcements (Excerpt)
  4. Preamble — Great Divine Rector’s Call
  5. Invocation For Judgement Against And Destruction Of Rock Music
  6. Decree 12.10
  7. Decree 10.05

America’s Mom Speaks

George Dubbya Bush you come here this instant. I am talking to you. Now. Do I have to count to ten?

Now look at me when I’m talking to you. Not over there, here. Look at me.

You are out of chances. The day is over. Pack away your toys and we are leaving this White House right now like I promised before. Remember? Remember when we had that agreement? Don’t you lie to me. Look at me. Now put those toys in the bag and come out of that White House and don’t give me any more of that attitude and sass.

I said look at me when I’m talking to you.

You have lied, and cheated, and invaded, and stolen, and given my things to your friends without my permission, and written notes for yourself at school with my name on them, and there is to be no more of that. You are going to go to your room for a good long time and think about what you’ve done, and we’re not bringing you back to this White House again. You hear me?

You. Are. Grounded. And I don’t want to hear any more of that crying or I’m going to have to give you something to cry about.

Only Sheriff Frank Booth Can Save Us Now!

So, you remember the guy who wiped out at 162 mph on PCH in Malibu in an ultra-rare Ferrari? Right. And he turned out to be a Swedish criminal and failed video game entrepreneur? Right. And now it turns out that the guy he was racing, another Swedish criminal, had a house full of illegal guns and was arrested for using a fake cop ID to avoid background checks? Right. And that the fake cop ID was from the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority, who represent themselves as a Homeland Security police organization because they give rides to old people? Right.

Hey, guess what! These guys have ties to our own Orange County Sheriff! The guy who tried to cover up the gang rape of a 15 year old girl because his buddy’s son did it! The guy who additionally covered up the kid’s crimes during his trial! And, of course, the guy who hands out deputy badges and guns to all the boys in the back room so they can crank off shots at miscellaneous citizens at the golf course or over a parking space! Turns out one of those guns from one of those guys ended up in Big Steve Eriksson’s house, along with the other guns that, as a foreign national and a felon, he’s not allowed to have. Gosh. Mike Carona, what sleaze have you NOT been involved in this year?

Deputy’s Gun Is Latest Twist in Ferrari Crash
The weapon of an O.C. reserve officer is found in a raid at the home of the car’s alleged driver.
By Richard Winton and Christine Hanley
Times Staff Writers

April 26, 2006

Detectives are trying to figure out why a handgun belonging to a reserve deputy for the Orange County Sheriff’s Department was found at the Bel-Air mansion of the former European video game executive accused of crashing a rare Ferrari Enzo in Malibu in February.

Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies confiscated the gun during a raid at the home of Bo Stefan Eriksson, who faces grand theft, embezzlement and DUI charges related to the accident.

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