You have chosen “Slow and Painful”. Great choice!

retrograde

Fig. 1: A 1977 Mercury Retrograde

I despise astrology, but I’m starting to wonder if they’re right about that whole “Mercury in retrograde” thing. I mean, I’m actually doing okay, better than I have in quite a while. Meanwhile, three-fourths of the people I know are having huge problems: substance abuse relapses, serious legal problems, bad government surprises, social disasters, Bad Love, medical “fun”, surprise pop-up angst toys, Personal Itch, and insurance companies.

When your Mercury goes retrograde, my advice is junk it and buy a Honda before you put any more money in it. That’s what I say.

I’m a PEOPLE PERSON!

Closing arguments in Fresno workplace spanking case–
By JULIANA BARBASSA, Associated Press Writer
Wednesday, April 26, 2006

(04-26) 17:07 PDT Fresno, Calif. (AP) —

A saleswoman who was spanked in front of her co-workers as part of what her employer said was a camaraderie-building exercise sat quietly in a courtroom Wednesday as lawyers gave closing arguments at her civil trial.

Continue reading “I’m a PEOPLE PERSON!” →

Innsmouth Community College Bikini Calendar Miss April

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Kraken Girl, originally uploaded by Grabthar.

You have no idea, Professor. I was browsing what I thought was the usual portfolio of young ladies in bathing costumes — a mostly innocent pastime I’m sure you’ll agree — when the most indescribably terrible sight met my eyes. The face was in part human, but this unspeakably alien… I… I can’t go on.

Our bozopunk future

  1. We’re so sorry our convicted sex criminal employee fondled your child. Please accept this twenty five dollar gift certificate as a token of our concern.
  2. Let’s sail down this lazy river in a GIANT YORKSHIRE PUDDING BOAT (thanks, ‘vark!)
  3. I want to commute all Batman cool in one of these awesome motorcycle-less sidecars!
  4. I think this is only time I have seen a public safety organization use the music of Social Distortion in an official capacity, as the LAFD uses a citizen-made video for promotion. Includes profanity, guys on fire.
  5. BIG SNAKE SURVIVES FIRE, with or without O.C. punk is not known.
  6. Airbus would like its customers to consider stuffing 853 people in their new superplane by strapping them to backboards standing up. That would be especially cool when the mass panic occurred, I bet.
  7. No subscription list is complete without POTATO STORAGE INTERNATIONAL!
  8. Let’s all go see the Japanese guys who play gospel music in blackface! AUGH! Les, you should join up, you’d only have to do half the makeup!
  9. And for those of you who read this far, a special treat: a brand new, shiny unaccountable national secret police!

My cat is not very competent at stealth.

At first, the cat has managed to completely conceal herself using the coffee table, as she had intended.

The Cat May Not Be Seen

However, she soon forgets that she has ears that protrude above her eye level. She can now be partly observed, and she’s unaware of this fact.

The Cat May Be Seen

Finally, she completely loses her discipline and much of the top of the head may also be seen. At this point I feel that she has given up on the whole idea of hiding.

The Cat May Be More Clearly Seen